One mother suggests that cafe proprietor McCauley "be responsible for three children for the next year and see if he can control the volume of their voices for every minute of the day." But nobody's asking anyone to control anyone's volumes "every minute" -- just the 10-30 that are spent in the cafe. Anyone who can't recognize the distinction is either not terribly bright -- or is deliberately misstating the situation.

And anyone who can't keep their childrens' behaviors within appropriate bounds in a space clearly designed for the quiet enjoyment of its patrons of all ages -- or take them outside until they can quiet down, or come back at an other time, or any of a number of reasonable solutions -- is too selfish or inept or both to make a good parent, regardless of what parenting theories one subscribes to. This isn't anti-child, it's a simple recognition of the fact that the people around you have rights, too, and that those rights are sometimes defined by location and circumstances.

If you can't play nice, you can't complain when nobody will let you play.

As a parent of three, now teen-aged, kids I agree that there ought to be 'adult only' areas. There is nothing more annoying than going out to dinner and sitting next to a group of adults and a toddler or two who is so tired that he or she cannot possibly behave. A word to the parents: GET A SITTER.

And yes, sitters are expensive and add to the cost of the dinner out. There are ways around that, however. One of the things that worked for my (now ex) husband and me was a co-op where we would sit for others one week and they for us the next. We'd schedule our 'adults only' time for the time when the kids were at the co-op sitters. We also stayed home a lot when the kids couldn't or wouldn't behave. It's a pain to not get your way -- to have to stay home when you wanted to go out -- even as an adult, but that's how raising kids goes. Eventually they become teenagers and never want to be seen in public with you again and then you can write to SALON and say how you love to go out without them now that they are teenagers (or, conversely, how you WISH they'd join you on a night out now that they are teenagers! LOL)

One more point...

While I find howly shrieking kids annoying and cafes and restaurants, let's not forget how irritating and obnoxious the loud cell phone yakkers can be.

I think perhaps they should create special sections at restaurants for all the rowdy, howly children, and all those loud blathering cell phone folks who feel a need to provide a running narrative of every movement to the person on the other end of the cell phone.

In a free society, cannot a store owner choose who s/he allows into his/her place of business? We have anti-discrimination laws to protect against racism and sexism, but do we really want to force store owners to welcome kids into a place if they don't choose to? I hope toddlers are not a protected class.

I realize that business freedom is a rare idea these days around Salon, but surely even progressives would agree that a shopkeeper can choose whom his/her clientele is and then suffer or reap the business consequences? Let a cafe do it. if people like it, they will go. Another cafe will open up that says, "We love kids!" Everyone is happy.

I am counting the days until some city councilman or woman with more of an eye on the next news cycle than the Constitution tries to pass a city ordinance banning "anti-kid" signs or rules within City limits.

I have a very small child, and I know first hand how hard it is to get a child to behave in public. And I feel palpably the loss of freedom that comes with taking on the responsibility of parenthood -- I can no longer go where I will, day or night, without thinking of how to care for my child. I sympathize with parents who want to dine at places where they can feel like thinking adults, and where cartoon animals are nowhere in sight.

But that's why God invented babysitters.

I am sick and tired of the nouveau parent's overdeveloped sense of entitlement -- that because they have graced the world with offspring, others are supposed to bend over backwards to accommodate them in every venue imaginable. Suddenly parents expect that their wee bairns MUST be made welcome everywhere -- at weddings, bars, parties, fine restaurants, boutique hotels -- irrespective of the inconvenience to others and the fact that the little tykes are way too young to even appreciate the experience. To add insult to injury, the kids are so overindulged behavior-wise at home that they are simply incapable of maintaining adequate self-control in public.

I simply don't bring my child to places where adult behavior and quiet conversation are the norm unless I have full confidence he'll behave appropriately. And if he acts out while we're there the solution isn't to put on a brave face and hope everyone understands. The solution is to leave IMMEDIATELY and end the disruption. What these parents don't understand is that while they may need some exposure to adult life in the form of cafes and fine dining, dragging a child to these places when they are too young to behave properly isn't doing them any favors. It's not fair to a child to place him in a social situation where he is inevitably going to disappoint those around him because he or she is simply not developmentally capable of maintaining the proper standard of behavior. Until my child has demonstrated at home that he is able to handle himself in that kind of setting, he'll stay at home with a babysitter. Both he and I will be happier that way.

Of course, I'm always grateful when people do make accommodations that allow me to bring my child -- the wedding coordinator who hires a babysitter, the restaurant that has a secluded table where my child and I are welcome, the hotel that welcomes children under 5. I may frequent such establishments more often because they accommodate me. But I certainly don't expect that just because I have a child, everyone else MUST cater to us.

I hope these selfish and spoiled parents aren't surprised when junior ends up selfish and spoiled as well....there wouldn't be any blaming him, really. He's only learning the behavior modeled by his parents.