In a scene from "Infinite Jest," recovering drug addict Don Gately lies (apparently) dying from an infected gun-shot wound. He refuses pain medications because he's afraid they will throw him back into addiction.

At the height of his pain (which DFW recounts in frightening detail), Gately has an epiphany: As he has lived through the agony of the previous instant, he will live through this one. In this way, he will make the pain bearable.

This Buddhist simplicity of this scene has propped me up during my own dark times, but maybe it fails to take into account the toll the daily fight exacts. Exhaustion brings its own exhaustion and, without relief, it clearly can become unbearable.

Doesn't matter how idyllic your life appears from the outside.

Apparently, DFW apparently never found the relief he needed. Yet his writing was as on fire with life as any writer's.

If you've never felt the kind of darkness that seems resolvable only by suicide, you can't understand his desperate action. But instead of judging him, just be grateful life dealt you a better hand.

RIP, DFW.

May I ask you all for a recommendation? Every year, I give my three adult children a book, usually a piece of contemporary fiction. In June, my youngest gave birth to twin boys and has temporarily departed the reading pool. I'm looking for something light but compelling that would fit into her chaotic schedule. I'm even thinking a graphic novel might be a good fit, but don't know where to start looking.

Any thoughts/insights/recommendations will be much appreciated. Thanks!

There is so much I want to say about this subject that my mind boggles. I was born and raised a Mormon, served a mission and was married in the temple. I made a mighty effort to cling to my faith but, finally, at age 25, realized it was not faith at all but conditioning.

Enough about that. I only want to respond to these assertions:

1) "Beyond that the church expects 10% not 15% from it's members and in return they build churches and temples which are paid for in cash so that there is no debt."

My response: Not true, at least of chapels and stake houses. Members are expected to raise the money via personal contributions, fund-raisers, et al. My poor-but-faithful parents struggled to pay for my mission. When they couldn't, it wasn't the church that ponied up, but the members of the ward's Elders Quorum. Don't ask me for my feelings about being expected to buy the copies of the Book of Mormon I was expected to distribute as a missionary; at $.50 a pop, they claimed a large chunk of my $100/month living allowance.

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2) "Members are allowed to baptize only members of their family"

My response: Not true. As a young man, I was baptized in proxy for hundreds of dead people, none of whom had the least connection with my family. Mormons research their forbearers and submit their names for "temple work," but take out endowments and do proxy baptisms on behalf of complete strangers.

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All right, I'll make two more points as long as I'm on a roll:

1) As far as I know, the church does not count those baptized in proxy as current members; however, they are not above baptizing folks on the flimsiest pretense, including those not capable of understanding what they are doing.

2) There is a little-known prophecy in which Joseph Smith is quoted as having said that if the constitution of the United States should ever hang by a thread, it would be the members of the Mormon priesthood who would save it. That alone is enough to scare me off a Romney presidency.

I left the church in the mid-'70s. Doubtless, much has doubtless changed since then, but not enough to convince me the faith offers an appropriate foundation for a life well lived.

I don't remember there being a limit imposed on the number of missionaries sent during the Vietnam war but I question Conason's implication that Romney's family connections influenced his assignment to France.

I was living in Spokane, Washington, when I was called to the Southwest British Mission in June, 1968. My family was poor and not aligned in any way with church power brokers.

Ironically, during my mission I became convinced of the futility of war, which ultimately led to me receiving conscientious objector status.

To the point of the story, military service is clearly not a prerequisite for becoming an effective commander-in-chief. Romney and Giuliani's hard-ass acts are reprehensible, though. We deserve a better man than either as president.

I was about Gary's age when I began experiencing the same feelings. I'm 60 now and in the intervening seven years I often found myself wondering what purpose was left for me. Then, at Christmas, my youngest daughter declared her pregnancy. Sometime this month, I will become a first-time grandfather -- of twins, no less.

This turn has given my life new meaning. I am preparing myself to play the second-grandest role of my life, following only that of being a parent.

As a non-believer, I can only regard this deepening as a symptom of humankind's commitment to its own betterment. As it was my duty to raise thoughtful, moral and conscientious children, it's now my privilege and obligation to sustain the efforts of my daughter and her husband to do the same.

There are many implications -- the bonding that will occur with the other grandparents, the joy of watching Lindsay's marriage deepen, my ongoing reconciliation with Lindsay's mother. It's enough to fill this aging heart with joy and peace.

I realize not everyone wrestling with the aging dilemma has the same good fortune; I only know that for me, the prospect of grandfather-hood, sentimental as it sounds, is making the journey worth it, sore knees and all.