I thought Cary's advice was excellent. It's what I'd suggest also. If there were no children involved, then it would be a different thing.

A couple things that the LW said are on my mind in her consideration of making a change.

1) She stressed in the letter that her love interest has made it clear that he's not ready for marriage. I wonder why she thinks he would consider living together, or buying a house together as she suggests.

2) The kids may have said that they like it where this guy lives, but that doesn't equate to wanting to move there & go to school there.

I'm not exactly business savvy, so I'm curious as to what those "business reasons" are that Ford has for cancelling the ads. Are they too expensive? Or maybe market research has determined that gay people don't buy Jaguars or Land Rovers? Whether they have legit business reasons or not, the impression is otherwise.

Wow, as some of these letters & those from the 3 previous "takes" indicate, there sure are some bitter, angry, and sometimes hatefilled people out there.

I'm not quite sure what the potential men's "control over reproduction" is that Big Whoop is referring to in his letter. But it seems to me that men have control over reproduction in the form of condoms.

Many popsickles are phallic shaped, as are corndogs, hotdogs, fish fingers, etc. People put phallic shaped food into their mouths every day. So what's the big deal?

I mistrust these reports & studies. I wonder if women truly feel this way or just say they do because of some cultural expectation that they do.

I, for one, can report that I do not now nor have I ever felt one ounce of remorse, guilt, or any mental trauma about having an abortion. What I felt was tired relief that it was over. I felt anger at the man who put me in the position of having to have an abortion. I felt empowered that I had the option to exercise this control over my life. I never worried about people judging me for this choice because I felt that it was none of their business.

I paid too much for this T-shirt.

I'm generally against yelling unless it's as a warning to watch out for the truck coming at you. I find it offensive and rude. But I do agree with Cary in that the husband needs to be desensitized to it, only because his reaction seems to be a painful one for him. I'm not suggesting that he accept yelling as par for the relationship, only that he find a way that it doesn't paralyze him. Then, when the girlfriend does engage in yelling, he can calmly walk away and not be emotionally tied up by it. This way he has control over his own emotions and can, hopefully, let her know that he chooses not to engage in that style of communication. Then they can try to work on a communication style that works for them as a couple.

Cary's answer was poetic and sensitive and told the LW what she needed to hear, that she is not a posession and is worthy of love and esteem. It just reminded me of the qualities in Cary's writing that I admire.

Since I am not poetic in my use of language I will add that I think think this young woman needs to get out of the relationship & do some things that will boost her self-esteem. She is not wrong to have had a sexual history, and shouldn't feel guilty about it. She needs to find a sense of her self worth so that the next time a boyfriend tries to put her down she can respond appropriately, with a goodbye & don't call me.

And to the "my military" comment lets add some concern for this "I'm frankly not all that familiar with a lot that's going on up there on Capitol Hill."

Other than the whole idea being tacky and without any class at all, those tampons are EXPENSIVE. I wouldn't go wasting them on ridiculous crafts. That's popsickle sticks and cotton balls are for.

>Unfortunately, it seems mental health therapy is a black mark forever on a person.>

Brightstar, aghhh, don't get caught up in this myth. Not true at all. What are you afraid will happen if you engage in therapy? Lots of people do it everyday & they come out ahead, with no black marks on them. First off, if you're concerned about being stigmatized, you don't have to tell anyone you're getting therapy. It's no one's business but your own anyway.

I'll raise my hand as someone who's had very beneficial therapy with no negative repercussions. Go for it.

And, you've been engaging in a form of therapy simply through the exchange of letters here.

Any employer who's not hiring for the first time knows that a verbal time committment for employment isn't always going to be kept. People leave for a variety of reasons, even after they've said in the hiring phase that they'd stay X number of years. I've known people who left because they decided to go back to school full-time, because they were offered a better job, because someone in the family was ill & needed care, because they just didn't like the job after all and wanted out. Employees of both sexes to it.

I never understood the logic behind making a movie based on a stage production that was based on a movie. Why not just see the original movie, which is a classic?