My mom had no problem getting me and my three younger siblings to behave when we were in restaurants and other public places. At our house, it was all about time and place, and in any situation where food was being served, whether at home, in a restaurant, or as guests at someone else's house, we all knew certain behavior was expected of us, which included saying please and thank you, staying in our seats until we were excused, and keeping our voices at an appropriate volume. I can't remember it ever being any other way.

With that said, I have chosen not to be a parent myself, a decision influenced by a number of factors, one of the most important being the understanding that to have well-behaved kids, a parent needs a deep well of patience and time to teach the behavior she wants to see. My mom did it -- and did it very well -- with the four of us, but I know I don't have the tenacity or presence of mind to do the job justice. I don't think it's unreasonable for a business owner to expect certain behavior from all of her customers, and to expect parents to extract that behavior from their children, having taken on the responsibility of child-rearing.

Noooooooooo! You can't go away! Not when I need you most!

Seriously, I'm a sports dunce, and your column has been my lifeline in the quest not to embarass myself when my husband talks football. Thanks to you, I can hold forth honestly on the undefeated chances of his Colts', or their optimal playoff matchups, and not feel like I'm muddling through a conversation with an auto mechanic. Or a teenager.

I'll miss you.

If I found out my therapist didn't have the qualifications she proported to have, I would ask two questions. 1) Is she unqualified? Ms. Wightman appears to have had a master's in the field, which certainly makes her more qualified than any number of practitioners who aren't challenged in this regard (I'm thinking about ministers of some denominations, radio talk show hosts, or bartenders, for example). I know this doesn't address the whole issue of being paid for ostensibly professional service, but my second question makes that point moot: 2) Is she effective? I say if you find someone who works for you, she's worth every penny, regardless of the piece of paper she has hanging on her wall.

Presumably one pays a therapist to listen to one's deepest thoughts and feelings without judgement, and going back to my second question above, who cares about anything else? It's a good story, though, the ex-stripper who lies about her past and somehow takes advantage of people in that vulnerable position. Was it a slow news day, or what?

The January 13, 2006 episode of CBS's "Numb3rs" started out with the same surface tension experiment. Made a wonderful mess of a lecture hall.

Heather, all is not lost! There are hidden gems to be found in basic cable -- and if you watch them and write about them, they won't be hidden anymore.

The Riches on F/X doesn't suck; in fact, I've enjoyed watching two Brits try to pass themselves off as Americans (Minnie Driver is winning). I've also been mystified by the whole world of the Travelers, and amused by the cons.

Speaking of which, new episodes of Hustle are back on AMC! I love a good heist, and this show is chock full of 'em, along with charming and complicated con-men (and women). Funny, inventive and clever, it's a good time.

And then there's always the unexplored terrain of kids' TV. Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends on Cartoon Network is a delight, full of plenty of visual puns and pop-culture references. And Mr. Meaty on Nickelodeon has puppets doing things you'd never imagine -- working fast-food at the mall, fighting ninjas, experimenting with genetically modified meat in order to infiltrate the ladies' restroom.

This is just what I like to watch. The shows are out there. Let your TiVo find them, and just delete them if you don't agree.

That's the sound of a spit-take. Harry Reid, you made me laugh out loud.

Man, this new "tradition" of yours is pure evil. Any hopes I had of squeezing work out of this last hour are out the window.