Letters to the Editor
I'd rather not say
Published Letters: 144 Editor's Choice: 22
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You don't go out for dinner during a blizzard
[Read the article: During the blizzard, I refused to shelter my friend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I like the letter from alohajerseygirl, who suggested that the pesky friend hang out in a public space, and maybe meet friends for dinner later. I think she missed the fact that this was in the middle of a huge, and unusual, blizzard! Her suggested public spaces were probably closed, and I imagine few people would have been willing to meet anyone for dinner.
The letter writer should have let the guy come over, or, as another writer suggested, not answered the phone. It was one day out of her life in a rare blizzard. It wouldn't have killed her, and now her conscience (and ex-friend) wouldn't be bothering her.
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Book titles, plus unsolicited advice
[Read the article: It looks like my niece is autistic]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]These books mentioned earlier (An Anthropologist On Mars: Seven Paradoxical Tales by Oliver Sacks, which has a chapter on Temple Grandin, and Thinking In Pictures: and Other Reports from My Life with Autism by Temple Grandin), are good reading to show that it is possible to make a rich life for yourself with autism. Sacks doesn't sugarcoat Grandin's story, but he does find the beauty and the gifts in it while being realistic about the difficulties.
Advice from my experience: find good docs and therapists you can trust. One good one usually leads to another one, referral-wise. If psychiatric meds are in her future, be cautious, but don't let fear of these meds stop you from trying what can be a very helpful therapy.
Finally, after you come to terms with the reality of some changed expectations, just enjoy your daughter as she is. "Treatments" always focus on the problems, and therapists don't spend much time discussing what is right or special about your child (although a good therapist will appreciate a child's strengths). Early intervention is great, especially for speech and motor delays, but two is too young to really predict who she will be. Take it a day at a time, and try not to burden yourself too often with worrying about her future.
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The power of genes...
[Read the article: Pierce Bush in 2024?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...is scary. You know what I'm sayin', Campbell?
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She's got what it takes
[Read the article: The Hillary juggernaut]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Think back to W's first campaign. He had a name, and he had lots of money. Ideas? To this day the man can't string two sentences together.
Hillary has the name, she has the money, and she doesn't speak like a simpleton. She campaigned hard to win her seat in NY, and she's survived every kind of attack, from all sides, for many years. She's battle-hardened and she knows what it takes. Find me another Dem. candidate who can claim that.
Beyond all that, I think she can do the job, and I'd love to see a woman president. I'll vote for her.
I don't know if she can really win it. But if she's the candidate and loses, I will at least have enjoyed watching all of Fox News foam at the mouth and get their panties in a bunch over the dreaded Hillary.
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This sounds so much like ADHD
[Read the article: Help! I'm avoiding and hiding again!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]ADHD sounds like a real possibility for this person. As mother to an ADHD kid, I've read extensively on this topic, and the letter writer sounds very much like they could be struggling with it. ADHD does not have to mean that you are hyper and jumping all over the place. My child can sit still with a book for huge amounts of time, but faced with an unpleasant or difficult task (e.g. most of school), cannot handle herself. Avoidance of the task through any means possible would be her usual reaction. After several years struggling to avoid the diagnosis and the meds, I "gave up," and now the meds (along with other non-med steps) have transformed her life. She is still herself, but she is in control and is succeeding at school.
Even more relevant to the LW, I have a lifelong friend who could be the LW. Very intelligent and capable in many areas, this friend is eternally behind on housework, bills, social obligations, etc. This friend tries very hard to stay on top of things, but it all eludes him eventually. My friend recently also tried some medication, and found tremendous benefit.
Maybe for you it isn't ADHD. But it might be worth investigating. Find a recommended psychiatrist or psychologist who will do a thorough exploration with you before pronouncing a verdict. And if it is ADHD, get a psychiatrist who is very familiar with the meds if that is the route you want to go. They can take some fine tuning. They are not evil, and can bring great help and relief. They are not a cop out. Getting your brain to "fire" properly is not a moral issue.
Remember, sometimes it is not just a matter of "trying harder." Sounds like you are exhausted from your efforts already. Stop beating yourself up about it, and try to organize yourself long enough to find some competent professional help and explore the possibilities.
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The party's over
[Read the article: Whenever he comes by for an evening, it takes him days to leave]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What?!!! This is the worst advice I've ever read. This woman does not need to delve deeper into this guy's life by taking him home and finding out what is wrong with his home life. Sure, maybe there is drinking and drama. Or maybe the guy was spoiled rotten and now can't stand up on his own two feet and take care of himself. In that case, making herself his substitute mommy would be the absolute worst thing the LW could do for him or for herself.
People live up or down to what is expecxted of them. LW, if this friend is an adult, do him a favor and expect and require the same adult behavior of him that you expect from your other friends. He can crash for the night, but must leave in the morning. Make a general declaration at the beginning of the party that it ends no matter what at 10 a.m. or whenever the next morning, and then follow through and give guests the heave-ho at the appointed hour, no excuses, no psychobabbling. That is the biggest favor you can do for him.
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What?
[Read the article: Fired in the maternity ward]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]SHE called HIM. But it's his fault? Desperate for a story or what?