Letters to the Editor
brightstar65
Published Letters: 3526 Editor's Choice: 16
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Buddhism
[Read the article: Pedophile blogger unfairly targeted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There is the tangential tieback to the topic at hand in that many men feel lonely these days for reasons they often cannot elucidate, and sometimes even use methods that are questionable or even illegal to try to get out of their predicament. I can name dozens of perfectly decent guys in their 30s and 40s who cannot for their lives get a relationship going with the opposite sex.
Of course the answer to these men would be to provide BOTH SEXES with the means, when they are young, to work out their problems or loneliness constructively. As I pointed out, this did not seem to cross the minds of any adults when I was young. Times change, I understand that deep changes have happened due to feminism upending the old paradigms.
A little imagination, if not empathy, might reveal to you that women have been commodified as well. What good does it do you to fight for the greater victim status? Is it working? Is it revealing any solutions to your unhappiness?
There are overlapping agendas I have. I have concluded that the trouncing men collectively have received from the man-hating feminists have effectively made a lasting negative impression societally on the whole of the male gender.
Since men do not get together to solve their own problems, the answer to me seems quite naturally to be to enlighten those men who can be enlightened to the problems and to potential directions where solutions might lie. Those solutions may often still be something that the individual male needs to handle on his own, but at least there are then options out there and there is a DIALOG among men and men also feel empowered to QUESTION the existing paradigms instead of just consuming their own egos up trying to figure out why things are not working the way they should.
We all need love. We all need to be seen, not for our wallets or boobs or plastic youthfulness. We all need to be held in some tender, forgiving regard. And in this culture, we all are raised to be very confused about who we are and what is valuable.
I think the only answer that will bring you happiness is a spiritual one. I am agnostic, so I'm not recommending a knee-jerk kind of faith. But there is reality to practices that support the development of compassion and empathy.
I am agnostic too, a lapsed Catholic, to whom Buddhism appeals more and more. But I am not a joiner. Reading on it can help, I suppose.
But at the core, I do not believe women as a group are receptive to tenderness towards males in America, making tenderness by guys like me like throwing shit at walls to see what sticks. The exceptions to this situation in the states, truly tender women, are quickly weeded out of circulation and snapped up by the best liars. At least this is what I see in the failing serial romances of Austin women.
I may be wrong, but something tells me I am not.
BTW, I have always been a tender person towards women in real life. Most women take this as weakness and treat people like me with contempt. Hence some of my bitterness, can't be nice, and not yet skilled enough to be nasty AND ALSO effective at garnering effective relationships that get me what I need.
Again, I believe my situation is par for the course in this life as it is seconded by most of the men I know who are in similar straits.
There is a reason, I suspect, why many men settle for getting girls with their money. It is because many men realize most women are no better than that or do not expect more out of life than that-- money for some affection.
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I like all your points.
[Read the article: Pedophile blogger unfairly targeted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]BUT... this guy, even if he is "touch-deprived," is preying on people who are far too young to have the powers of judgment needed to make his "cuddling" or what-have-you CONSENSUAL. They're CHILDREN. BABIES. Remember, the last place he was found staking out was a center for children aged *three months to three years.* Infants and toddlers. If a man can find, um, "satisfaction and fulfillment" (for want of a better term) with infants and toddlers, he's the one with the problem... not society. Infants and toddlers are not CAPABLE of providing adults with what this guy is looking for. They are not old enough to be able to make the choice of whether or not his advances are welcome; not old enough to rationally give (or physically withhold) their consent, and therefore he is a predator... not a victim.
Oh, I completely agree with you. If anything, I would be tougher than you on a guy like this. Society cannot be held responsible for resolving all potential problems like this man. My only point was that for some men, this loneliness factor might be a place to look to see what alternatives these guys might not have that might help reduce the prevalence of such behavior among the weaker but still decent guys who, in their time of weakness might be led astray by guys like this.
But agreed, this guy is well beyond the pale and belongs in a different category altogether. He could be married and have tons of affection from a wife and still be this way potentially.
As an aside, I do appreciate your fairmindedness towards my posts overall.