Some humble propositions:

Don't just ban divorce. Require all married people to return to their first spouses, after, of course, a suitable period of months in the public stocks for their charade of remarriage. Also, require all married people to demonstrably love each other in public and in private. Cameras can be installed in all the rooms of our homes and people can be employed to watch their neighbors to make sure their marriage vows of loving, honoring, and cherishing are being upheld. Spouses who don't demonstrate perpetual love will be imprisoned and just never you mind that many might choose that concrete cell. Lastly, monitor eyes with cameras in public spaces. Married men who gaze at other women will be blinded, as the Bible decrees. Likewise, married women who lust for movie actors will be blinded. Married men who commit adultery will have their penises amputated and married women who commit adultery will be sewn shut, either the mouth of the vagina, depending upon which body part committed the sin.

C'mon, Mormons! Where's the money to back my propositions?

Lastly and seriously, as others noted, revoke their tax exempt status. Churches meddle in state affairs every damning day.

The Republicans have my personal (Yep, He's mine, all mine!)Lord and Savior, Jesus and his other two pieces, God and the Holy Spirit! Yep, he's three, three, three Gods in one! Take that pagans! Our Gods are compacted!

Anyway, Jesus loves the Republicans! After all, we torture and wage war and hate homos in His name! Say, NancySue22, don't forget the coming Palin Potluck and Torture Festival, where we'll be having our children torture some welfare mothers, to practice for the day when they'll be big Republicans and torturing A-rabs for the Republic! Oh, glory, glory, Jesus, we torture for you! And we've end the Festival, of course, with our annual bonfire, where we'll be burning some liberals! We'll burn the liberalism right out of them and be doing them quite a favor, since we'll be acclimating them to the fires of Hell!

I've always imagined that if there were a divine Jesus and if he returned, we wouldn't bother with crucifying Him a second time, but we'd sure kill him, either through neglect, for he'd be a stinking homeless person, or by beating, for he'd advocate, once again, for refusing wealth and turning the other cheek, and what war-loving and wealth-loving "christian" could abide that commie crap?

I'm on your side, which, as both know, is Jesus's side. Like you, I'm concerned with people taking God's name in vain. Here's what happened just last week. There's a dreadfully poor woman who attends our church and she isn't even American enough to drive an SUV! She walks!! Well, I drive an SUV, the Support Our Troops Special Edition Ford Expedition and I was on my cell phone, of course, and applying lipstick, which wasn't easy, for my lips had just been replumped and were a bit sensitive, and I came a little close to this woman and her five rugrats. That, of course, was God's will, and since it happened to be raining, I sprayed them with water from the gutter. When they reached the church, instead of standing outside and dripping, they actually had the audacity to enter! Well, we got to the sermon in spite of that sinful dripping and the Pastor started warning us about the homos and their reeducation camps, where they try and turn straight people towards same sex sin. Then he started telling us how Jesus wants us to be rich, which is so, since I'm rich, and he told us to raise our hands to receive His blessings, but that wet woman raised her hands, which is taking God's name in vain, since she's poor and obviously God doesn't want her to be rich! So, she was asking in vain, using God's name in vain! She had the vanity to think Jesus cared about her! Jesus doesn't care about poor people. Jesus is a Republican!!! Both you already know that, don' cha?

Your sister in certainty,

Bigguns

Skin color matters most to me too! That's why, when I don my robe and my hood for our little meetings, they're as white as me! Say, Brother SkylarDexter, you missed last night's meeting!

Yep, it's parody. Nowadays, I'm so angry at a government that took my tax dollars and paid someone to torture someone, that borrowed us into national servitude, and that plopped our Army in the middle of a desert for the sake of oil, that it's either parody for me or rage.

NancySue22 is just funnin' with us.

Sorry 'bout that!

I won't be freely sharing Jesus with you. After all, he is MY personal Lord and Savior. I will, however, like the Catholic Church once did and P-Ro (Pat Robertson) still does, rent His grace to you. All you have to do is give until you're poor and I'm rich. Jesus wants it this way. I know. He told me the same night He told Sarah Palin and W that He wants the U.S. occupying Iraq.

I just had another chat with J-Man. He wants more war. More debt. He wants the rich richer and the poor poorer! And he wants us to torture, always torture, in His name. That's why he wants us to vote McCain.

Oh?!? You disagree with Hitchens? How...original! How...daring!!!

However, if you're going to do the antithesis to his thesis, understand his thesis first. It can't be reduced to, "Why Women Aren't Funny," whatever the title. Damn, woman, you're in publishing. You know how editors pick provocative titles.