You realize that George W. Bush won, in part, because he's prettier than Kerry and because he pretended to be the sort of guy who'd sidle up to as a bar and buy us a beer.

Now, for a moment, just forget the damage that's been done to America. We might never recover economically, morally, and politically. Nevertheless, forget all that and focus on two stories about the party and the people you're about to support.

I have some friends who guided for Dick Cheney. Cheney arrived at the ranch with a retargeted satellite, three blackhawk helicopters, a chinook, and seven black suburbans flown there for his 10 hours of "hunting." He "hunted" from a boardwalk in a gorge. Ever seen a pheasant up close? It's a breathtaking bird. Well, servants removed these stunning birds from cages, two at a time, and on command, tossed them over Cheney's head. Bang, bang, bang. The dead birds were then piled as bear bait.

Bait.

Bear.

Bang.

Another friend was invited to White House and returned with the menu. I don't speak French, so I couldn't pronounce the words, but the menu went on and on.

My point is that the Republicans being the party of common people is pretense. Likewise, Palin belonging to our gender and therefore being on our team is pretense. There is no deception that this party won't practice. There is no evil that they won't perpetuate. Remember that they tortured in the name of Jesus. Bush stated that Jesus is his favorite philosopher. Yet, Bush permitted torture. For Jesus, I assume, since Jesus likes torture.

Palin was calculated to get your vote. When you share your voting intentions with friends and associates, their strong responses, their horror, is provoked in part by realizing that Karl Rove and Company have their fingers on your strings. Palin was picked with absolute cynicism, with a belief that you can fool some of the people some of the time. If Palin is elected, she will target you. She will hurt you. Her party painted a bullseye on your gay back way back.

And her ignorance will hurt women. All of us. Have you seen the part of the Couric interview where Palin is asked what newspapers and books she's read. She couldn't name one.

Not.

one.

Palin can pretend to be compassionate. She can pretend to be open. But she can't pretend to be competent. She is as incomptent as W and whereas W's incompetence will never be blamed on his gender, Palin's incompetence will be blamed on you and me and all women.

Wait to vote for a woman. I beg you. The Dems will soon give us a presidential candiate who looks like you and me.

If what you say about Mr. Pitt is so, it makes me ask, "So, how do I get into the doghouse?"

And it makes me sing, "Let's let the dog out! Woof, woof, woof!"

All Bush voters should be billed for the rescue of Wall Street.

Bush voters, after all, belong to the alleged party of personal responsibility. They are responsible for America crumbling like an old muffin. After all, they elected an incompetent person. Let them pay. Also, let them pay off the monstrous increase in the national debt.

Personal responsibility and all that.

My boyfriend left a stiff sock beneath the covers. I tried for hours to resuscitate those sperm. I failed. I buried them in half coffins and grieved for half a day. Oh, the half horror, the half horror!

If Palin had been honest regarding what she's read, she would have said, "I watch Fox. They tell me all I need to know. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"

Regarding the gay answer, my follow-up question would be, "So, when did you choose to ignore your attraction to women?"

Palin wasn't being defensive about Alaska. She knew she was revealed as provincial and she hid behind Alaska.

...I've killed some of my meat. I've felt a living thing shudder under my knife and then die. It instilled in me a reverence for the cost of my taking a few more breaths. I think Palin missed this lesson. She euphamizes Alaska's wild and living animals as "game." She reduces them to something deliciously abstract. I doubt that she ever shuddered when her knife ended an animal's breathing. She's too far morally removed for that, just as she's too morally distant to understand how too many women struggle with too many children.

This is the woman who thinks it's A-OK! to shoot wolves from planes. Bang. Bang. Bleed. Bleed. It's a clean kind of killing. You don't even have to feel the wolf shudder. You don't have to hear it strain for life in its last breaths.

Off to Iraq, Bush voter! Go fight that Eternal and Glorious Intergalactic War on Terror!

At the very least, go get another job and start paying off the national debt. You voted for Bush. Your party is the party of personally responsibility. So, you're personally responsible for the national debt.

Or just shut up. You and your ilk ruined this country. Your breath is poison. Your mind is curdled. Your heart is three sizes too small.

To a degree, Mr. Pitt might like a little tug of war over his bone. More tugging might mean more bone, you know. Sometimes, more is more!

Sorry you had a bad day at work. I'm just happy I squeezed a laugh into that.

What can he say? He's a member of the party that believes all citizens are equal, but some are more equal than others.

This doesn't mean that I deny a supreme being. I do deny most of the myths in the Bible. It's just handy to construct one's myths pre-camcorders.

Obama.

Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!