Oh, Paul is fast. He just doesn't look fast. Did you ever see Kevin Johnson of the Phoneix Suns play? He was one of the fastest of his era and he looked it. Paul looks like he's always in second gear and doesn't need to shift because he's already blowing by everybody.

Daisy once told that Jay Gatsby that it looked like he never sweated. Paul looks that way to me.

I once played against a guy who had the finest head fake I ever saw. Everytime he gave me an up-fake, I went up. Every damn time.

"Stay put!" I told my dogs, but they never listened.

I jumped and jumped. I was pathetic.

I think all of Paul's moves are like that: so refined that they fool everyone. So, he doesn't need to be superfluously herky-jerky. One move and he's by you.

I think King Kaufman should win an award for this column. It's so tight that you could pluck any sentence and it would ring true.

BUT there are other fine sportswriters. Have you ever read Frank Deford? Or the old tyme Red Smith?

You should be a sportswriter! I love this:

"It's almost like instead of him looking fast everyone else around him looks slow...."

Yeah, it looks like they're wearing stickum shoes.

...as long as you also terminate all those coffee addicts who flaunt their addiction with coffee cups in the lounge.

And all those whose pushers are doctors and whose poison is distributed by pharmacists.

And those with sugar addictions.

And on and on.

I think it's time to photograph those who denied the woman her degree and capture them with coffee and likker.

And refund her tuition and pay her for the four years she wasted pursuing that degree.

There are people whose ignoble purpose is to be offended. They believe that they're doing God's will. Now, just imagine them in Heaven. They'd catch a peek up Jesus's robes and they'd be tattling on him. God wouldn't seem godly enough and they'd start clucking about that. One day, they'd look around and realize that their deities were gone. God and company would have fled to Hell to hang with their old pal, Satan.

"Because you entered this cold world causing her more pain than she thought possible...."

You can blame moms for the pain if they chose procreation. Or you can blame culture, if that culture applied insufficient options. But don't ever blame the once-upon-a-time baby for the pain. The baby sure didn't choose it. And the notion that childbirth is the worst possible pain is an anachronism. Talk to enough moms and you'll conclude that the pain ranges and is sometimes slight.

I fear gay marriage will be the lead issue again in 2008.

Salon should pay you for your post.

That would be damning with faint praise. Configure a way for all the stars to shine on what she wrote.

We've got next.

India and China love our two wars. They spend billions on infrastructure and we spend trillions on imperialism.

The U.S.! It's what for Asia's dinner!

And teenage mothers and fathers. That's already working so well.

Horry will bodycheck Paul into a wall. Then Bowen kick Paul in his already bleeding head while holding his hands high. Then Duncan will whine to the refs about the foul, while Paul is wheeled away to the emergency room.

I was once a huge Spurs fan, but they lost me last year and they continue to lose me. Bowen and Horry do the dirty work, but if weren't them, it would be some other players on the team. It's their culture. The Spurs were once the good guys. Now they're the new bad boys.

Yep. And Stern will rule that the Honies, for whatever the Hornets' T & A team is called, will have to play. And Parker will drive into them again and again for a birdy has to fly and a fishie has to swim and Parker has to drive. And that's what will end the Spurs, for a certain desperate housewife in the stadium, who's learned in her own series to fight even dirtier than Bowen, will take out Parker and his posse.

Okay, my imagination is a runaway train. My apologies to all.

Me too.

Let (s)he who's not crazy decry the man!

I've met enough people to say with some assurance that no one is not crazy.

You do get to be cool when you mock the man the cool kids mock. It's just that doing so is uncool.

Thank you, Mr. Kaufman, for picking me.

The moral of today's lesson is that sporting events aren't nearly as much about all those muscles are they are about that mind. Otherwise, what difference would it make if the floorboards were in San Antonio or New Orleans?

Everyone who's been on the cover has been or will be one day covered with a casket's lid.

"I'm tired of seeing not a single Editor's Choice week after week."

That's likely 'cause the interns are out partying.

I love and hate your well told tale. I love your writing craft and hate that our country is configured in such a way that craftiness such as yours is rewarded with your own bubble.

You seem as cagey as a house slave. You get better clothes. don't have to pick cotton "from can to can't," and probably get to pinch bettter food.

Regarding the article in general, I live in a neighborhood of houses that sell for less than $100,000.

When I bought my home, the home inspector told me to insure it for twice what I paid and he added, "Even then, if it burns, it can't be rebuilt for $190,000. The wood in this house no longer exists."

And every third house is for sale, while people continue to build plastic palaces on farm land. Plus, my little lot produces enough food to feed me for half the year. Poverty is coming. Prepare.

And rich enough to rest.

Good for them.