Yep, I agree.

@ tinwoman

Now, that's the kind of analysis that should happen at Salon more. Whereas I'm a fan of brides-behaving-badly stories, our time might be better devoted to "Why?"

Perhaps brides are bribed, here and abroad: We'll shine all eyes on you and frost you with gifts if you agree to breed. The bride might understand that it's a crummy deal and deal out some misery.

I agree with the poster who compared weddings to getting drunk. In both cases, you get an unencumbered look at the person's guts.

My bride behaving badly story: A mother loved one child more than the other, as ALL MOTHERS do. The lesser loved daughter was a bride and at the reception, the mother embraced her on the dance floor. Now, the mother second-mortgaged her home to give her lesser loved daughter this big wedding. The lesser loved daughter non-verbally conveyed her disgust with her mother when her mother embraced her. I was disgusted at the bride's disgust. The bride had a role and she chose to vacate it. $25,000 should buy a mother a little pretense.

Everyone.

Or else.

And I really mean it this time.

"But I really wouldn't worry that it is the signal of the decline of America.

On the other hand when I started see Humvees on the road a few years back - that was the real signal of our decline."

I differ with your differentiation. Humvees and big weddings are superfluous consumption. Superfluous consumption is why America is broke.

kitchengirl reminded the ex-bride and the rest of us that we're not that important. For that nugget, we should all be grateful.

As far as the weddings you've attended where guests were eaten alive, grannies had to climb mountains, and everyone had food poisoning, man, if I were you, I'd stay home. Or were you stretching the truth a tad?

Back to the ex-bride: if she got to walk up the aisle with everyone staring at her and with theme music, she doesn't get to say, "I was only thinking of them."

That was one funny post you wrote!

HIRE HUTMAN!

P.S. - Did the yelling work?

The fanciest home is $100,000. Retire, sell yours, and mosey over. Problem solved.

Your welcoming neighbor,

Bigguns

P.S. - Unlike L.A., we have plenty o' water. And you rarely need air-conditioning. Won't it be cool?

Sure, come on over. There are lots of homes for sale. I'm middle class here, but in L.A., I would be po'.

Like Heather, I write and writers can live wherever. I lived in an expensive town and moved to a cheap town and effectively gave myself a raise. As someone else noted, no one cares if you're an old writer, so you don't have to quit at some pre-set age. Plus, my income increases every year and I'm hoping Heather's will too. If it doesn't, Heather, then freelance. Editors love freelancers: no bennies. They'll heap work on you. I now turn down work at rates I would have loved just five years ago.

So, Heather, keep writing and remember that L.A. is pricey, but much of America is relatively cheap. And if you live between Carrrie and me, we'll bake you cookies.

Shhh!

Your observation that we Salon posters go postal when Salon writers go personal is telling all that really butt naked, even though we tell each other that we can see the raiment of the most exquisite syllables!

Nevertheless, let the parade continue!

You see a lot, Dave. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? - Why don't you, why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to...

You write about Heather actually having a LIFE, as if small town life is some sort of near-death experience. As our friends come and go, we too can go and new friends will come into our lives. Being old and poor is a very sad thing. For those who own homes in big cities, relocating can cure their impending poverty. I don't have a beach, but I do have a glittering lake. I don't have my old city friends, but I do have my new small town friends.

You make good points. If you're surmising correctly about Heather, as opposed to merely projecting, perhaps the article that Heather should have written would be about her social network mattering more than her net worth and how she might be po', but happy.

However, it's been my experience that our friends can be replaced. We just want to think that they're extra-extra special.

@ Dr. Laurel962:

We agree!

Wheee!

She does us all a disservice by owning 5 homes. Her carbon footprint is Godzilla-sized.

Likewise, her aversion to playing the stock market might not best serve her fans.