Thanks for asking. Sure, I want to be fuckable. I want you to be fuckable. I want everyone to be fuckable and to have gritty beach sex, but, as a wise reader notes, only at night.

What makes me cringe is Ms. Price, an alleged feminist, focusing on Ms. Mirren's belly and breasts with the breathlessness of a 14-year old: Oh, and she's hot too! She's hawt! She played an old lady (20 years her senior!), but she's still hot (No old queen cooties rubbed off on her.)!!!

Now, I assume that Ms. Price is well-intentioned, that she's trying to score points with the actors-who-play-old-ladies-and-wear-red-bikinis-are-still-fucking-hawt crowd. And Ms. Price nearly admits that she had a fantasy about coming out of the surf at 60something in a red bikini, looking hotter than ever, and looking quite fuckable: hoo-rah!

My issue is with Ms. Price reverting to women-as-the-sexy-gender, as if a woman's body trumps her body of work or being named a Dame or awarded an Oscar. Ms. Price's post doesn't quite reduce Dame Mirren to her belly and breasts, but it does reduce Broadsheet to tabloid journalism.

I imagine Ms. Price reading this and thinking, "Oh, I was just having some fun at the end of a long week. And the actors-who-play-old-ladies-and-wear-red-bikinis-are-still-fucking-hawt crowd liked it! And (the trump card!) are you saying that older women can't be sexy?!? How...sexist!"

Older women can be sexy. I just Googled Ms. Mirren's body of work: that's what sexy. The effort and skill that fashioned that body of work obliterates her breasts and belly in terms of sexiness. Half the world has breasts. Probably more than half the world has flat bellies. The joining of the two isn't unusual. Ms. Mirren's talent is. So, why get giddy at the former?

Sure, her body was hotter 20 years ago, but Ms. Mirren is hotter today. Here's what she's done in the last twenty years:

1988 Pascali's Island Lydia Neuman

1989 When the Whales Came Clemmie Jenkins

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover Georgina Spica

1990 Bethune: The Making of a Hero Frances Penny Bethune

The Comfort of Strangers Caroline

1991 Where Angels Fear to Tread Lilia Herriton

1993 The Hawk Annie Marsh

Royal Deceit Geruth

1994 The Madness of King George Queen Charlotte Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination

1995 The Snow Queen Snow Queen (voice)

1996 Some Mother's Son Kathleen Quigley

1997 Critical Care Stella

1998 Sidoglio Smithee

The Prince of Egypt The Queen (voice)

1999 The Passion of Ayn Rand Ayn Rand

Teaching Mrs. Tingle Mrs. Eve Tingle

2000 Greenfingers Georgina Woodhouse

2001 The Pledge Doctor

No Such Thing The Boss

Happy Birthday Distinguished Woman

Last Orders Amy

Gosford Park Mrs. Wilson Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination

2003 The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone Karen Stone

Calendar Girls Chris Harper

2004 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Deep Thought (voice)

The Clearing Eileen Hayes

Raising Helen Dominique

2005 Elizabeth I Queen Elizabeth I

Shadowboxer Rose

2006 The Queen Queen Elizabeth II Best Actress Oscar

2007 National Treasure: Book of Secrets Emily Appleton

2009 Inkheart Elinor Loredan awaiting release

State of Play Cameron Lynne post-production

Love Ranch Grace Botempo post-production

The Last Station Sofya Tolstoy filming

I'm glad that you consider Ms. Mirren, the younger, and Ms. Mirren, the older, hot. Who's hotter isn't my quibble. My concern is that Empress Price is leading the nearly-naked-Ms.-Mirren-is-hawt parade and that Empress Price is proud of her I-ain't-ageist feminist frock, but I'm watching from the sidelines and I'm seeing a nearly naked Ms. Mirren and an utterly naked Empress Price. I think that Empress Price, in her glee that Ms. Mirren didn't catch old queen cooties, has caught some of the culture cooties that lead women to assert that, if they could, they'd trade 10 IQ points to be hot.

Ms. Havrilesky.

And most true. I've heard too many dog owners anthropomorphosize their pets. And these are otherwise sensible people.

There's a theory out there that dogs really loathe us. They're killer pack animals, but we feed them, so they give us a show.

And whereas I watch Cesar, I suspect, as an earlier poster noted, that his show is edited as heavily as most fishing shows, where they bite on every cast and no fish ever frees itself.

I also admit that I'm a sucker for Cesar's bleached smile, so I watch away and believe that the bleached teeth man really will come someday and save the save the day.

Finally, regarding squirrels, I sometimes imagine Dog Heaven, where there are infinite squirrels and where all good dogs go. And I imagine that that Dog Heaven is also conveniently Squirrel Hell, where all bad squirrels go.

Thanks for the link, but I read the article and am not convinced. I don't know the word in logic for it, but I know it's not cogent when someone mentions "cattle prods" and Cesar's hand nips in a sentence about being punitive, as if we're supposed to be convinced by proximity. Here's a parallel, albeit hyperbolic, example:

"Much as firebombing was used to punish Japan, the young mother had her son sit in time out for two minutes."

Male Defender! Thank God, that big, bearded boy in the sky, that you're here to defend men!

...after watching those commericals.

Someone so attuned to my happiness.

Me.

Me.

Me!

Any takers?

That's one sick equation.

So, why isn't the outcome of nipple, vulva, vagina, and penis also obscene? If it were, I wouldn't have to endure so many baby photos.

I've said "Too cute!" too many times.

If Ms. Jackson gets a new obscenity ruling, I too want a new obscenity ruling!