Box cutters? Play dough?

Good grief, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Seriously.

Your approach to problem solving amounts to burning your house down because you saw some ants in the backyard. How do you respond when your kids skip school? Take them behind the barn and shoot them? Oh, look. That little girl crossed the street without looking both ways! Call out S.W.A.T.

There's appropriate response, and there's frightened pussy response, and everyone who invokes box cutters and a handful of Play Dough is a frightened pussy.

There are a hundred better ways to deal with Eeeeevil Fake Terrrrist Star than what actually happened, and none of them involve machine guns or formal charges.

Typical Al Michaels gasbaggery.

Just when I think these people can't sink any lower.

You'd think they'd want those underprivileged kids healthy so when they grow up and have no options in our devastated free market economy they'd be in shape to join the military out of desperation so they can go die in pointless wars trumped up by Republican bloodlust.

Sure. There's lotsa of free music out there. Millions of songs. Whatever. If the song you want isn't one of the free ones, then a buck for a download is pretty damn good. Especially if your ears got blown out by too many concerts in college so that you can't detect the sound quality between a commercial AAC file and a CD.

But, hey, if your favorite music is all available for free, and that's actually free as opposed to intraweb "free", then fly at it. But as someone who makes his living creating copyrighted material, I'm more than happy to pay for the music I enjoy.

How come whoever he was talking to on MSNBC didn't ask him why it was a First Amendment issue for Rush, but worthy of Kingston's vote to condemn Move On for exercising it's First Amendment rights?

Oh, wait. This is teevee nooz. Intelligent, topical follow-up questions need not apply.

But actually, I threw up all over my desk and computer.

Projectile vomit, the only reasonable response to anything Bush says.

There is no room in God's Kingdom for compassion!

At least, that's the message I get.

Because certainly the fact that both movies were pointless rehashes with constipated scripts had nothing to do their poor box office at all.

:P

Right about the time you start to get the process sorta figured out, without warning it will re-program itself to all new settings.

Producing people who wake up one more, scrub the industrial waste from their eyes, look around and see what a shit hole the place is, then flee to somewhere else where they can actually get something done.

Okay, I submit that brightstar is a misongynistic pig, but in my own defense I'd like to mention that I was making a joke. Within the context of a story about an orgasmic mannequin I thought that would be clear enough, but perhaps I should have added a *snicker* or a "Just kidding!"

As for what I'm missing, well, you do an inspirational job of assuming and judging, but I'm afraid you don't have a clue.

Feel better about yourself now?

I just asked my mommy and she told me I was the bestest lay in the whole wide world and that I shouldn't listen some cranky old intraweb ninny.

I thought "dark, poisonous sensation" were fairly good words for describing the feeling right before you vomit. It's also a good description for the feeling a person of good conscience gets whenever contemplating O'Reilly's multitudinous repugnant utterances.

Last night Dorcius Rex Carey mentioned that the Rockies wouldn't have home field advantage because the AL won the All-Star Game, and I had to grind my teeth all over again at what a retarded (and I mean that in the insensitive, non-PC, schoolyard way) notion THAT is.

Sure, they wouldn't have it anyway under a system in which regular record earned it, but at least then the home field would be controlled by the actual teams playing, not by who didn't stay out all night at the wet t-shirt contest during spring break.

Bah! . . . Just made me hate Bud Selig all over again.

And when I saw a picture someone took of me with it on, I thought, "What a douche." Of course, a lot of people think that about me whether I'm wearing a Bluetooth headset or not.

According to the Apple anti-fanboys who frequent your letters section, you're an Apple fanboy. And yet you talked about Apple fanboys as if they were something than yourself. Which is it? And I bet Slate had a story about this too. Huh? Huh?

... see a boobie. Probably haven't seen a live one in years, maybe not even since infancy.

He sucks now. Who cares what happened in 1997 under the Era of Suck?

But then, why should they not experience what so many other Americans have experienced under Bush? I used to have a career too before the Bush economic miracle happened.

First the Heather Hav Derangement Syndrome, now the OMG Apple! Derangement Syndrome.

Good news, Tom. I don't care what computer you use! I bet no one else does either. But, hey, go ahead knock yourself out trying to convince people that your screwball metrics make sense. You serve up good comedy, I'll grant you that.

Oh good grief.

Come next March or so, when he's the guy who lost the nomination the previous October with his pathetic handling of L'Affaire McClurkin, we'll see just how opposed he is to being vice-president.

I mean, if we're going to take our linguistic cues from teevee, at least let's take them from a teevee that's good.

While technically from the movie Serenity, this line from Kaylee of Firefly fame has the advantage of not being spoken by a self-absorbed nitwit: "Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries."