When I read the letter, and the subsequent LW's postings, I had several thoughts:

It is difficult for most people to accept their own inevitable demise. I wonder if the LW's acceptance of death is threatening to some people. They need her to deny so that they can keep denying.

As others have pointed out, I perceive our culture as celebrating the person who defies all odds and never quits. The person who accepts that he or she cannot do something, or can do it only at so much cost that it's not appealing, and moves past this does not inspire TV movies or stories in Reader's Digest.

Something else though for the LW to ponder: our culture also celebrates the friends who through inspiring stories and bossiness push the poor ill, discouraged, handicapped victim to some sort of success. The friends who perform the much more difficult (I think) task of listening and accepting do not inspire TV movies, etc, either. And I think there's this myth of the perfect thing that a friend can say that will make everything magically OK. You see this when a bereaved person has to hear over and over that their loved one died because it was God's will, that he/she is with God now and so on like maybe the bereaved will perk right up and go "Gosh! You're Right! I'm Not Upset Now!". My guess is that the friends are laboring under this delusion, trying to find the right phrase to keep the LW going because if he or she said just the right thing, it would magically breath new life into the LW's resolve to life. I do not want to denigrate the LW's friends in any way, but it is probably hard to realize that one is not going to perform the heroic and slightly dramatic job of Inspiring Friend to Stay Alive and is needed for the less dramatic job of Listening and Dealing With It.

LW: I admire the way you are handling the situation and the way you are handling the comments and occasional criticism by others.

1. When you get upset or worried, remember that this is largely due to hormones. Just as all problems are ominous at 2 am, all potential problems seem worse when you're pregnant. A year, probably less, you'll think all this anxiety is funny.

2. If you want an epidural, talk to your doctor or other professional. Don't let other people talk you out of it.

3. You'll have some of the problems, but no one has ALL of them (I think).

4. All the problems will be put into perspective when you fall in love with the baby. Aren't there things you do with or for your husband that you would never consider doing with/for another man? There are things that you'd blanch at doing for another person's child that will not faze you when it's your baby.

Face it: if motherhood were really that difficult and terrifying, the human animal would have been extinct a long time ago.

or at least very intuitive. WaPo has a story about how pages were warned about Foley as far back as 1995.

Whether Foley's behavior is textbook pedophila is not really that big a deal to me. In general, pedophila is considered an attraction to someone underage by someone else inappropriately older. A 21-year-old with a 17-year-old sex partner wouldn't be considered a pedophile but 52 and 17 smells like pedophilia to most people. It would also depend on whether Foley was exclusively attracted to very young men or not. If he was only interested in very young men, I would consider him a pedophile (and given the attention he seems to have lavished on very young men, when would he ever have had time for an older partner?)

It's a shame that his actions are being blamed on his homosexuality. I have known a lot of gay men over the years and they have not been pedophiles. Fans of David Sedaris may remember a wretchedly funny story in which a kid (maybe 11? it's been a while) helps him carry some things in a hotel and the openly gay Sedaris is terrified that anything he does or says with the kid will be considered proof that he must be a pedophile.