Many posters have mentioned side effects of the Pill such as depression and encouraged women to learn about all its side effects prior to use so as to be prepared. May I extend that very good suggestion to ALL PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION? Especially those meds (like the pill) that one will take for a long period of time. Some meds produce side effects in a minority of people that you'd never suspect. Years ago I had a student in a class who was doing uncharacteristically poorly. When I expressed concern, he said he just couldn't get motivated or make himself do anything and he didn't know why, maybe it was "senioritis". The following semester he came by to tell me that the "senioritis" was actually depression, a rare side effect of a new drug he had been taking for a stomach condition. (yes I was a terrible psycprof for not recognizing a clear case of depression but it was early in my teaching career).

Yes, the guy's doctor should have known and told him but the ultimate responsibility for learning about a medication rests with the person (or the person's parent) who is taking it. Everything turned out OK, but he spent an awful and avoidable semester.

I had a Mirena and inserting it hurt but not that much (course I have had two children). I am very happy with my current method: tubal ligation. It hurt even less!

If Ann Coulter and Fred Phelps (you know, the godhatesfags.com guy who organizes those protests at military funerals) got into a fight, who would win? And how much would you pay to see that fight?

Yeah, Johnalive, that was not Time's shining moment but remember how weird that photo cover was..she looked like a giant pair of witch shoes with a person stuck behind them.

It's my experience that people who are extremely opposed to a friend's choices are usually reacting to a need for affirmation of their own choices, because their choices are not well-founded. Of course, a person with confidence in his/her wise choices can live without constant affirmation. Basically, I would doubt the wisdom of anyone with such a knee-jerk reaction to marriage.

The kicker is: these people are reacting to a diverse institution as though it were still "man works outside home, woman wipes dishes and kids' noses and does housework in pearls". Criticizing and commenting on marriage in general is like saying that you like weather in general. Marriage is what you make it and who you make it with and it can be great and wonderful, or lonely and sad, or boring, or scary.

If you have found someone that you look forward to having a life with (and not just having a wedding) and trust and love, go for it! And while 21 is young, it's an age where there is great diversity in maturity (Trust me on this: I see 21-year-olds every day for nine months of the year). It can be an extended period of being 13 years old, or a time of maturity normally seen much later. Just being 21 shouldn't keep you from entering an engagement, and you're showing maturity by not rushing things and being level-headed. I wish you the best.

"Coulter is Al Zarqawi in a mini-skirt."

We wish.

I also have an extremely immature younger brother who is almost 40, thinks he's a genius although he has only done manual labor throughout his life, and can turn any conversational topic around to himself. (I know manual labor doesn't mean you're dumb, but If I were brilliant, 40 and putting up siding in all weather, I'd turn that genius to an indoor job). I refer to him as the world's most grizzled three-year-old. After an evening that culminated in his being extremely verbally abusive to me, I have written him off for all practical purposes, and have never looked back. I miss his wife though.

The LW's comments make me think that the brother is not interested or knowledgeable about the LW's life at all, and the brother assumes that the LW will make all the moves. If the brother is fun and interesting once you get him there, or is kind and compassionate once he realizes how stressful the life of a new dad can be, then it might be worth working through things. But if every interaction with the brother is negative and makes the LW furious, is it really worth that expenditure of time and emotional energy? It might not be. If not, maybe check in with the brother a year from now to see how things are. You don't have to enjoy someone's company just because he is your brother.