It's perfectly natural, although often politically incorrect, to want them, particularly when it seems like everyone else seems to have them and be doing fine with them.

But as many others have said, don't rush into something that can't be undone.

It's not rationalizing to recognize the realities:

1) They don't stay babies, but you are still responsible for them for a very long time. Their needs are constantly changing and it's a never-ending challenge to keep up. And in the end, if you do your job just right, they will grow up, move away and have their own lives, in which you have a very small part.

2) They have no off switch. You are NEVER off duty. You can have excellent sitters, friends, relatives, nannies, daycare etc., but in the end YOU are the parent and every asks YOU what is to be done. And if they can't handle a problem, they hand the kid back to YOU.

3) The support system in the USA is not what it is in Sweden, France, etc. IOW, you're on your own to find what you need, decide if it's any good, etc. And pay for it.

4) You need all the help you can get and then some. Picking the right partner isn't easy because the kinds of things you really need aren't often the kind that "dating" or even living together require.

5) Your life changes in ways you cannot imagine. Want to see a movie on Saturday night? Start planning on Tuesday at the latest. Want to have delicate or valuable things? Better have a locked room to keep them in. Do the cars you like work well with kid carseats and the bag of stuff your kid needs?

People will say to you "they grow up so fast". That's only true in retrospect; when you are in the trenches raising them, it's a very long, very slow road.

But the biggest of all is this:

6) Babies are all individuals. You do not know what you are going to get, nor what will work with them in a given situation. And there's no rhyme or reason to it. And it's always changing.

Some folks get a baby that is easy, sleeping through the night in a few weeks, adapting easily to a schedule, rarely getting sick, easily comforted. Others get the baby that cries for no apparent reason, wakes up 2-3 times per night, is frequently sick, and just plain drives you crazy 24/7. And to make it more of a sporting course, they can change from one kind to another without telling you. Or your first can be an angel and the second...

On top of all this you'll get tons of unsolicited advice from everyone ranging from your closest friends to complete strangers - including those without kids. Some advice will be excellent, some will be good-but-not-applicable-to-your-situation, some will be downright harmful. You get to sort out which is which.

Then there's the criticism from others.

And that's just normal healthy kids, not those with disabilities.

It's a wonderful life but you have to really really really want it. Not just now, or for a few months, but for years.

Take your time.

"Everyone keeps saying "They don't stay babies" like the LW is some kind of idiot."

I don't think LW is an idiot. But I do think she needs to understand the reality, and not just the immediate desire for a *baby*. Not "a kid" - a *baby*.

"That's what I'm banking on. I'm very much looking forward to having babies, not because I want babies, but because I want kids!"

So you don't have any of your own yet.

"I love kids! The older they get, the more interesting they get. I love it when they are figuring out who they are. I love the differences between elementary, middle, and high schools, when they finally start exploring other ways of life and ideas. The transitions are so cool."

They're always in transition.

"That's the most interesting part of kids, IMO. Not when they are small and pooping all the time. Of course, I'll love my own baby when it is small and pooping, but what I really want, is to watch them grow and see how they turn out."

That's good, but do not underestimate the challenges and the reality. Like being called an idiot, repeatedly, by a 12 year old, or trying to get a 15-year-old who is larger and stronger than you to follow house rules, or having serious disagreements with your partner about how to handle various situations. And those are minor things compared to the kid who gets in trouble with the law, abuses substances, is failing in school, etc.

When they are babies, their needs are usually simple: feeding, changing, bathing, interaction/stimulation. They stay where you put them and everything is the bright promise of tomorrow. Then they start to walk and talk and the game gets complicated....

I wish you and LW the very best of luck when you have your own kids.