one of the problems, imho, is that Jews and non-Jews alike often regard Israel as a sort of a fifty-first state, not really sure about where the US ends and Israel begins.

it's either ok to use past injustices as a justification for taking land, homes, and lives, or it's not. this simple fact is lost on otherwise reasonable people, who claim that israel is some sort of special case and that it's for some reason OK for Israel to do this because of Very Special Reasons. it's not right for, say, China to invade Tibet, for example. But for some reason it's Right for Israel to occupy Palestine for fifty-plus years because a) Jewish suffering and b) Arab aggression.

i often suggest to my otherwise reasonable friends, who are able to logically examine all issues except for Israel, that they should maybe think twice about any issue wherein they see eye-to-eye with Dick Cheney. I don't get very far.

i had a boyfriend like this once, who pretended that he owned his own business (he hadn't), had bought his bmw when he was 19 (his daddy had bought it for him), had bought his house at age 22 (again, daddy had bought it for him), etc.

in his case, he was covering for the fact that he was deeply ashamed of his own inability to accomplish anything on his own. the second he'd try to do something for himself, daddy would swoop in and do it for him. so he began to tell lies. at first, he told them to girls so that he would get laid. then he told them to guys so that he would get respect. eventually, he began to just sort of lie about anything, really, daddy-related or not, in a act of historical revisionism. didn't like the way his ex had left him? well, he'd just say that HE had left HER and it would be all better! it really went on and on and on. he was, and probably still is, a deeply troubled person who pretty much believes a large portion of the lies he tells because he has told them so frequently. what few friends he has are people who he has known for years, and just sort of dismiss the tall tales as a harmless part of his personality.

the music biz act could be something similar. it is pretty likely the friend thinks that his real life isn't good enough, so he's make up a fake one. the problem is that eventually, he'll lose track of which is real and which is fake. attempting to tell him, "hey friend, you are a delusional liar. wake up: you are also a loser who has been twice evicted and does not have a job, much less a hot shot position as a music executive." will probably just lead to excommunication from his life, and won't amount to any sort of real help. if that's your goal, go for it.

if you really want to help him, you might want to talk to a therapist or psychologist to ask for advice. he could just be a loser with low self esteem, or he could be a sociopath, so be careful.

and here's why:

"If she becomes irate over a few photos of her sexual adventures or letters from past lovers, I have to worry, don't I?"

you, my dear LW, are the type of person who nails himself to a cross and blames the hammer. this small sentence indicates that you might--indeed, probably would--BLAME her for getting angry at you if she were to discover that you snooped through her stuff and threw it out. see, you snooped, right, but like--what did she have it for in the first place?? and if she gets mad, well, that PROVES that not only did you do the right thing, but that you HAVE TO WORRY. not that SHE should worry that she can't hang on to some mementos without you reading into it. but that YOU should worry because SHE gets mad at you for throwing out HER stuff.

i've dated too many guys like you, guys who think that nothing is their fault, and who figure out a way to make themselves right and others wrong no matter what the situation. it is so, so much work for me. and i can't imagine how much work it must be for you, to reason it out so that you're not the one to blame, and even better--are the victim.

good luck with that.

..it turned out, was stabbed to death in a remote hallway. yes, a man did follow her down the street, and yes, he did initially attack her in earshot of several witnesses. it was three in the morning, and those witnesses yelled at him to leave her alone. he did. she then staggered to into an alley, or hallway of some sort to die, and he returned to finish the job. she did not scream at this point, as blood had filled her lungs.

so as horrible as the story is, it's not really a valid comparison since initial reports were wild speculation that were completely contradicted by court transcripts.

in any case, if we want similar stories, we don't need to go back as far as kitty genovese. what about jaycee duggard, who was kept in a backyard for all that time? what about the fact that murder at the hands of an intimate partner is the leading cause of death for American women age 15-45, and that neighbors and friends surely witness this violence on occasion?