this is a difficult situation. i used to experience similar "helpful" advice about medications i was taking for ADD/ADHD. people would caution me in regards to the toxins that i was putting in my body, and tell me that i could fix all of it with diet and yoga or whatever.

the best response, i found was to maintain boundaries while validating their concerns, or alternatively, finding common ground.

for example,

"you know, you could control your ADD/ADHD with yoga and diet."

"yes, yoga is certainly a great help! i definitely feel more centered when i do it."

"why don't you just eat less sugar?"

"reducing sugar intake is certainly an effective way to help with issues with attention, absolutely."

"you don't need those pills. besides, they're really bad for you."

"yes, i agree with you that medications are a serious decision that shouldn't be taken lightly."

is it possible to acknowledge your boyfriend's and mother's concerns while still holding firm to your boundaries? like, expressing sympathy for the fact that your boyfriend might feel uncomfortable with your changed behavior when you're "stoned" while still maintaining a boundary about your medical situation? or perhaps reassuring your mom that you are not an addict while again maintaining some privacy?

"wow. i can see how this could be really difficult for you, and kind of scary. i'm sorry this is rough and i appreciate your support."

or

"90 pills a month is certainly a lot of medication to manage. i can certainly understand why someone might view that with concern."

"people should definitely consult with a physician before taking that much pain medication."

while it's frustrating to be accused of being an addict, it soudns like your mom and boyfriend are merely doing a very terrible job of voicing fear--fear that you are going to lose control of your reliance on these pills. perhaps if you speak to their concerns, while maintaining your privacy, you'll get somewhere.

no disrespect to my hispanic brothers and sisters who have to clean the cabin, but seriously? you wonder why there is crap all over the floor? i'm an athletic, 5'8 female who does yoga on a regular basis and find it challenging to pick up stuff off the floor of the cabin when crammed into a seat that barely can hold me and my blankie, so those in the comments section body-snarking the fatties who can't bend over to grab the cheetos bag are not only being unnecessarily catty, but probably haven't had the pleasure of riding in coach.

the ability to retrieve anything that falls on the cabin floor under the seat either in front of or under you requires not only a complicated maneuver usually performed towards the beginning of the sun salutation, but also the ability to rearrange everything on your lap and tray table with the chops of a california closets consultant. if there's a cup full of liquid on my tray in addition to a spread all of the snacks i've had to bring from home, you know what? screw it. not doing it.

am i a slob? not usually. but i am not a tyrannosaurus rex. i have arms longer than six inches. trying to open packages and eat a meal and deal with my pillow and blankie and drink and ipod in a space more appropriate for a toddler yields some spills. you want people to clean up after themselves? give them enough space to SEE the floor and perhaps they'll be motivated.

1. i'm supposed to regard this as a sign of progress, that republicans treated a supreme court nominee who has sat on the bench for over ten years and written over 450 opinions with respect even though she is a hispanic woman? seriously? i'm supposed to give them kudos for not mistaking her for the cleaning lady, or for failing to offer her a sombrero? or what? geeee thannnk you, old white guys, for treating the nice hispanic lady who graduated at the top of her class at princeton with respect! yay! you get a prize!

2. i am interested in what the word "respect" means. Lindsay Graham told the adult sitting before him that she could benefit from "reflection" about her "temperament", and assured her that he "liked her". other senators explained to her that the supreme court was important and powerful: the supreme court is where law can be made. it is an important institution. you will be wearing a black robe. do you know what a "robe" is?

3. what are these basic principles? denying health care to poor women who can't use medicaid to obtain abortions, even in the case of rape or domestic abuse? teaching teenagers that having sex will land them in hell? measuring patriotism by the appearance of a flag pin on a lapel? making caricatures of sotomayor that offend asians and puerto ricans at the same time? i'd love to know.

why would you be pro-choice if you are an anti-war environmentalist vegan? because, in your own words, many of these choices are because you hope all people will "have a chance to live productive and happiness-pursuing lives."

forcing women to be pregnant against their will, to bear the child of their rapist or abuser, to become a parent at the expense of all of their plans and dreams and goals...this is fundamentally incompatible with allowing them to have a chance to live productive and happiness-pursuing lives. i cannot pursue happiness and be productive if i am forced to be a parent against my will. neither can one in three american women, apparently, because that's how many choose to have abortions during the course of their lives.