i would have found this horrifying as a child, and as an adult, i still do. i went away to camp to do things that you can't do in suburban southern california and to be liberated from the crushing pressures of teen magazines and televisions and peer pressure. for six glorious weeks i lived in cabins with one single, small mirror for 12 girls to share. i was totally unshackled from worrying about what i looked like or what the popular kids thought of me or what was cool or "in", and rode horses, shot rifles, milked cows, made fresh yogurt, learned how to identify edible wild herbs and plants, and learned about horsemanship and horse care.

i would return tan and capable and, surprisingly, thinner and in great shape. being freed from worrying about what to eat or what creams to slather on my face made me get out and DO things and as it turns out, having fun in the great wide open is one of the best beauty products there is.

i have no idea what i'd do if my daughter wanted to go to such a camp. i think i'd hand her an avocado and tell her that she was welcome to put it on her face at home any time she wanted.

i can't tell you how many men i've dated have been under the impression that they were forward-thinking and progressive liberals that have moved past rigid conceptions of gender roles. these same men, however, even the liberal, vegan, organic-food eating, obama-voting, whole-foods shopping, npr-listening men, still automatically expected me to adjust my schedule and social circle around them far more than the other way around. they would still expect me to read books and watch movies they suggested without bothering to ever read books or watch the movies i suggested.

it was this subconscious thing, deep in their psyche, where their feelings and skills and tastes and pursuits were just simply valid and real, and mine were deserving of scrutiny before achieving equal status or recognition.

i go to parties attended by liberal, educated, open-minded people, and i watch as the guys dominate the conversation until the women slip away to congregate in another room in order to be heard. i go to friends' houses and i notice that it is they who do 80% of the housework, or spend most of with the baby so their husbands can go out, or stop by the store after work to get the groceries. this dynamic isn't questioned; it simply IS.

i should say taht i am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man who realized these tendencies in himself and strove to adjust them. but this, i realize, is a rare thing. while i don't approve of dante, or whoever this person is, his book probably represents a far broader segment of the population than we'd like to admit or imagine.

i can't tell you how many men i've dated have been under the impression that they were forward-thinking and progressive liberals that have moved past rigid conceptions of gender roles. these same men, however, even the liberal, vegan, organic-food eating, obama-voting, whole-foods shopping, npr-listening men, still automatically expected me to adjust my schedule and social circle around them far more than the other way around. they would still expect me to read books and watch movies they suggested without bothering to ever read books or watch the movies i suggested.

it was this subconscious thing, deep in their psyche, where their feelings and skills and tastes and pursuits were just simply valid and real, and mine were deserving of scrutiny before achieving equal status or recognition.

i go to parties attended by liberal, educated, open-minded people, and i watch as the guys dominate the conversation until the women slip away to congregate in another room in order to be heard. i go to friends' houses and i notice that it is they who do 80% of the housework, or spend most of with the baby so their husbands can go out, or stop by the store after work to get the groceries. this dynamic isn't questioned; it simply IS.

i should say taht i am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man who realized these tendencies in himself and strove to adjust them. but this, i realize, is a rare thing. while i don't approve of dante, or whoever this person is, his book probably represents a far broader segment of the population than we'd like to admit or imagine.

...sarah palin is affirmative action in action. would mccain have picked a male running mate with a resume like hers? a "hockey-dad" and father of five who has been a governor of alaska for two years, and previously was the part-time mayor of a town of 8,000? i highly doubt it.

can someone please explain that? does that mean i'm supposed to impress people with the fact that i'm rich, or skinny, or have good taste in clothes, or good taste in men, or all of the above? is it formal, casual, somewhere in between? anyone?