As a rational person who follows politics, I am intrigued with the level of profound hatred toward the Clintons, especially Hillary.

I realize that there is a left-wing analog, as the hatred toward Dubya is every bit as visceral. I am aware of the source of my contempt for D, and am willing to express it.

As an intellectual, I have a life history of sacrifices for the sake of higher values. When someone like Dubya comes along and brags about being a cretin, it is very hard for someone like me to retain perspective, especially when we have six years of history to show what happens when unbridled machismo sans intellect takes control of the world's one remaining super power.

The thing is, it is not only Bush types who hate Hil. Just watch hardball sometime and see the same level of irrational animus coming from Chris Matthews, who really ought to know better.

My best guess. There just isn't enough Viagra to reassure the nation's troglodytes.

Being a sucker for a good argument, I am open to other possibilities.

What doesn't get resolved gets passed on, and so it is with Thomas. His punitive, albiet devoted, grandfather must have produced in Thomas an endless supply of humiliation, hurt and rage. Few children have the emotional resources to suffer such feelings without breaking down. It appears that Thomas survived by identifying with the grandfather and other such punitive forces. Keenly aware of his own pain, he projects the hate outward, which is how he manages to feel the sting of racism when he is the object (and indeed even when he is not), while simultaneously blaming others for their shortcomings and remaining blind to their pain.

I have no difficulty believing that Thomas found it hard to get hired after law school. His barely disguished contempt must have been palpable to interviewers. With time and the benefit of affirmative action, he must have learned to compensate to some extent. After all, his colleagues find him likeable and so do subordinates.

I wonder how his life might have played out were he to have found a sympathetic teacher or counselor to help him give voice to his pain and see how much humanity his grandfather had to forfeit to secure what little success he could enjoy.

Human beings most likely have a gene or gene combination for the purpose of judging. And we probably also have a shame switch that judging inevitably throws, regardless of how well or badly we might measure up or fail to in the eyes of the particular judge of the moment. Hence the responses to McClelland's article read like a kind of Rorschach test on which side of the judgment-shame bed we woke up on this morning.

We live in an age of "do your own thing," "whatever makes your boat float," etc., etc. And I know that my first reaction to this article was, Ed, just get over yourself. Whatever your version of the "right way to run" is, if it is that important to you, then find a sponsor, and make it happen.

I also know that we have probably gone overboard in our everybody can play world. Perhaps that attitude is in part responsible for at least one half of the American electorate mistaking a brilliant PR campaign for legitimate leadership.

That's why I felt like chiming in on this particular post and engaging in a little judging of my own. So, Ed. The next time you feel the urge to indulge in finger pointing, remember that every gratuitous throwing of the shame trigger degrades the value of the humiliation card for instances in which it truly needs to be played.

Who doesn't want to be the popular kid in high school? I remember as early as elementary school, all the guys obsessed about "who could take who," and the girls talked endlessly about who was the most popular. I know I was one of those unpopular kids who lusted after even a minute of attention from the one or more of the "clique of three." In Jr. High, I made a conscious decision to opt out of the popularity contest and to focus on getting good grades. I told myself that I was through with all the shallowness and was better off without them. And that is how I thought of my history until in mid-life I again picked up the self-exploration project and was surprised to discover an enormous hunger and longing for approval and belonging. I worked through those issues in group therapy and am endlessly greatful that I was fortunate enough to find a group of wonderful, loving women, all of whom were willing and able to nurture each other to health.

I tell you this, LW, because I suspect that at least some of your initial attraction to the bar crowd was a delight in having the heady experience of being popular. Yes. You said as much in your letter. But what if you were to reflect on the connection more consciously, more deliberately. Perhaps by journalling some of those high school experiences. Perhaps really connecting with the initial feelings and in light of your recent disillusionment, possibly turn this experience into a real solid growth opportunity.

You'll know if these suggestions fit your situation or not. But whatever you do with them, I think you are commendable for seeking some larger significance about your bar experience and what it means for you.