There's no true right or wrong or universally correct answer in this situation because it really comes down to those two indidivuals--the LW and his gf.

When I was diagnosed with cancer nearly 12 years ago, my gf at the time and I were semi-broken up (this would be a pattern we experienced time and again in part due to my relationship immaturity and in part to issues related to her bipolar disorder). When she got the news, she rushed to my side and really was there for me in ways I needed most. In ways my family couldn't be because of the emotions they were dealing with. That said, there came a time when she couldn't deal with my being a survivor and the quirks and such that comes with that territory (anxiety around anniversaries, etc.). And she couldn't be there for me in other ways I needed down the road as I grew emotionally stronger. That's life. Some may have been about my cancer, most of it was not.

But I will always be grateful to her for those weeks and months in which she was there for me. That relationship ended nearly a decade ago. My loving partner of 6+ years is emotionally capable of being there for me around scan time, giving me comfort and support or a swift kick in the butt, whichever I need most. We communicate very well, very openly about our fears, hopes, dreams. I'm so grateful for her, but also for the good that came of that earlier relationship, for it helped me to grow into the person I am today.

Just food for thought. I wish comfort, peace and understanding to the LW and his girlfriend, and hope she can celebrate many, many years as a cancer survivor.

Talk about smoking something wacky...If she's an extreme liberal then Ann Coulter really is a woman.

And why in the hell does Gore think the party needs to go back to the ideological middle? Does he not get that the Democrats are so in the middle that they perpetually picking splinters out of their a$$es because they've ridden the fence for so long? Only Feingold seems to have the brass ones to take a real stand on issues.

<<I'm pro-gay marriage, pro-equality, and pro-giving domestic partners to any two domestic aprtners, regardless of orientation!>>

So am I. I think some companies will give DP benefits to gay couples under the rationale that we cannot marry while straight couples can. However, to me, a DP is a DP is a DP. Equal rights for all should be the way to go. Thank you for your thoughtful remarks.

I'm a bit disappointed at Broadsheet for waiting 2 weeks to finally acknowledge Dr. Denton's passing and by the fact that most of your coverage was gleaned from a much better NYTimes piece. (The Times finally got something right.)

Perhaps to correct the error you'd consider doing a more in-depth article about thyroid disease--and how hypothryoidism can actually cause severe depression (among other life-threatening conditions)? I don't know if that's what Dr. Denton had, but you'd be doing a public service if you dug into this.

...nobody, and I mean nobody and no body, looks good in something 2-3 sizes too small. they look stupid, slutty and cheap.

A "muffin top" is just another name for "flab". You can change the name but not the fact. It just ain't sexy no matter how you dress [or undress] it up.

Your mom's triangulating, trying to either pull you in on her behalf and against your brother or trying perhaps to entice you to speak to your brother on her behalf behind the scenes. You might find it helpful to read "The Dance of Anger"--I forget the author's name--which deals with such issues.

My mother used to pull this routine on me and my brother all the time...til he and I spoke and we mutually agreed not to play Mom's game. If she told him something negative about me, he'd advise her to speak with me directly...and wouldn't run off and tell me. I did the same for him. It's actually worked out very well. Mom is less inclined to do this these days--and my brother and I have kept our boundaries and communciations healthy.

Also, my brother and I have what can be a brutually frank relationship--we always know where we stand with each other. In the end, we're each others' biggest supporters, perhaps outside of our respective spouses. No, we don't come from a highly confrontational background. We just resolved years back to be more loving and healthier toward each other than our mom is with her brother or was with our dad.

...what the right wingnuts call "activists judges"...

The only bone I'd pick at in the Times' piece was the "hold her own" comment--that was in the reporters' words, not a quote from a source. That does smack a bit of "little lady syndrome".

Otherwise, particularly the closing paragraph, tries to get at the less-public person of the two behind the Gates Foundation, and seems to do so fairly well. Smart, sure. You don't rise up the ladder at Microsoft without a decent amount of gray matter. And Gates, to his credit, doesn't strike me as someone who'd be content with a Barbie for a wife. Like his father and his mentor Warren Buffett, Gates seems to value true partnership of ideals and ideas as part of marriage. The Times article seems to get at that. (Now if only they'd tried to do so with their recent Clinton marriage article instead of turning it into a tabloid side bar.)