...is ultimately what matters to the LW (who has my sympathy). And, too, it may symbolize the last straw, the one that tipped over her grief. Sometimes the seemingly (to some) insignificant do that to us. And who are you, Paul, to judge her for that pain, regardless of its trigger or source? Each of us deals with pain and loss in our own way.

Perhaps if she can find the cabinet, but can't salvage the wood, she can salvage the door pulls or some other component of it around which to build a new cabinet.

I've had to deal with similar feelings about my mother, also now in her 80s. One thing that helps (once I got past the initial slow-burn of anger) is not to have any expectations about her. She is who she is: self-absorbed, funny, intelligent, oblivious to my feelings. When I do put expectations around her, even simple ones, she cannot live up to them. Why then do I keep her in my life? Because she is my mom, I love her for the good in her and we can do fine for 2 hours at a time (about the length of our usual, few-times-a-year visits).

That said, I am very grateful to have known, albeit too briefly, what a real mom can be like. In many ways, my late stepmother was more of a mom to me than my biological mother.

I hope the LW finds peace for herself. It may take time, but it is indeed achievable.

...to saying "Oh God" at particular moments...

...just about everyone I know is counting the days til we can vote that lying, bigotted, dumb-a$$ excuse for a senator outta office.

In a clip I heard a few weeks back on NPR, he chided people for complaining about something legit, saying, "People are dying out there [in Iraq]." Yeah, a$$hole: because of you and your ilk. So you can't use them twice--once while they were alive and now, a second time, when they are dead--to suit your needs...and not get away with it.

As his best-bud Duhbya says, "Fool me once....can't get fooled again." (Not that I voted for him previously but a bunch of my fellow PAians did.)

"It's a girl -- she's 3.3 million years old, almost human." People say that about me all the time.

Thank you for making me laugh this morning. I needed that. Some days, don't we all feel like we could match that short description? Especially the age and "almost human" part.

Happy weekend!

P.S. Now seriously, what did you expect from Maxim? That they'd like anyone different from Paris Hilton look-alikes in size 0 clothing and an IQ to match? ;-)

Is it possible that the charges against her are true? Yes. Lesbians are as capable of carrying on inappropriate (supervisor/subordinate) work-place relationships as much as straight women, straight men and gay men.

It's also possible the charges are not true. Let's see what Minneapolis determines really happened. But let's also not man-bash or put lesbians on a pedestal onto which they don't necessarily belong. (And if it matters, I am a lesbian.)

it's easier to be fearless when you don't have the everyday fears that keep a lot of us up at night.

I, too, scoffed at the first Jackass movie...only to rent it after a particularly crappy work week. And proceeded to laugh so hard I probably pulled some muscles and definitely scared the cats. Especially the skit where they hurl "bosses" on office chairs down ramps at each other. (Hehehe, that one hit the mark...)

Just as funny is the Mad TV skit involving the real Jackass crew and Deborah Wilson as Oprah.

This time, I may need to see this one in the theater.

The LW may wish to look for a book with "Toxic Parents" in the title. I forget the author's name. I read it years ago and found it helpful. Another good one is "The Dance of Anger". The author discusses how people try to control situations by triangulating--looks like her parents are doing that now with her children. (Obviously, there's more to the book than that but that one really stuck with me.)

Growing up with toxic parents ain't a lot of fun (or even just one toxic parent)--and I fully understand why the LW has tried to cut them from her life and the lives of her children. Perhaps what Cary meant when he said she needed help was that she may be better served if she find a way of recovering/healing from that traumatic background. But it's gotta start with her, not her parents. She alone can break the dysfunctional heritage for her children.

Cary, it does sound like the LW's "stuff" triggered your "stuff". We all have people and circumstances that we avoid because they bring up horrible memories and feelings. It happens, and I give you credit for acknowledging that and for acknowledging you don't feel you can help her.

...almost in spite of Sorkin's (and those who followed) self-righteous, Ain't-I-cute/hip/smart-itis. We wanted Jed Bartlet to succeed--look who we were/are dealing with in the White House! Anyone who had morals and intellectual curiosity and could speak in more than 5-word segments looked pretty good in the Oval Office, if only on TV.

But Josh Lyman is one of the most annoying characters in TV history--for all the reasons mentioned above--and when the show moved from the Martin Sheen/John Spencer focus to Josh and the campaigns, The West Wing became insufferable. I don't know to what extent it was Bradley Whitford vs. the Sorkin-esque writing, but I'd rather stick my knitting needles under my fingers than watch even one episode of a show that pairs Whitford and Sorkin again.