Letters to the Editor
Canuckistan Bob
Published Letters: 778 Editor's Choice: 69
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First of all
[Read the article: Girl murdered over hijab?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Damn straight Tracy is right on this one.
First of all, there are very few facts out there. What we know is this: there was family conflict, apparently principally between her and her father, with her brother taking her father's side. This led to her moving out, apparently with her immediate family's consent. Secondly, her teenage friends report that one of the sources of conflict was the Hejab. Third, she went hope to pick up her stuff. Fourth, her father phoned 911. Fifth, she was badly injured and subsequently died in hospital. Sixth, her brother apparently had some kind of confrontation with the police. Sixth, her father was charged with murder.
We do not know if the Hejab was the only or even the principal point of contention. We do not know what happened in the house (the police have refused to release any information about the cause of death or the statements of her father). We really don't very much at all at this point.
What I know from my professional experience, is that parent-adolescent conflict over retention of cultural values and behaviour in immigrant families is not exactly unknown. I have seen in Muslim families to be sure, but also with Hindus,with Africans, with Latin Americans, with Chinese, even with Eastern Europeans. The dynamic is very common: parent(s) see children drifting away from everything they hold dear, and in reaction insist on holding the line on every single little thing. In reaction to this stifling, the children rebel and act out.
The solution we have in professional practice is to bring support groups together of parents from the same background, and kids from the same background. Once they find other's in the same situation, they can talk it over and come to a much more rational consensus on what is negotiable and what is not.
Works far better than banning things or engaging in Muslim bashing.
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Second of all
[Read the article: Girl murdered over hijab?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If we want to start banning hejabs or even burqas (it is ironic that after all the idiotic furor we have had recently in Quebec over Burqas and voting etc, in a province of what, 7 million or so, only 14 women who even possessed a burqa could be found), sauce for the goose/gander thing kicks in. I suppose adults can make their own choices, but children should not be forced, indeed since they are still children, forbidden, to wear Orthodox sideburns, whatever you call them, crucifixes, Mormon underwear, turbans, etc. If you are comfortable with the government micromanaging parenting that much anyway.
Secondly, the amount of ignorance being exposed is shocking. Like any significant object, a burqa can mean many things. In some contexts, wearing one can be seen as a profoundly feminist act. In others, a terribly oppressive one. The whole internal Muslim debate about it actually rather reminds me of the feminist sex-positive vs anti porn debate.
It is an important debate, I think, but one that Muslim women should probably have the primary voice in, not Anglo Saxon newspaper editors.