"I imagine what you mean is fairly complex. After all, they don't call it a dress code for nothing. In your dress you apparently express a shifting code of private androgyny; you wear masks; you flirt with passing as this or that; you play at being seen a certain way, and yet, because you hold your true identity close to your vest as it were, you always prove the observer wrong. That is, you play the trickster; you express both allegiance and contempt."

Of all the things to suddenly begin to take at society's face value, why this? Women should dress pretty and men should dress boring? Huh? Having ready your column since it's inception I can't even believe you'd say that. In fact, I'm going to assume that I misunderstood you, because what I'm hearing is that this young lady owes it to society to conform to gender expectations and that's not the Cary Tennis that I have understood and respect.

She's not flirting with anything, she just is! And, I for one, respect that. I spent my younger years in the exact same middle ground. Eventually I decided to be more deliberate about the way I dress, but the great thing was that I CHOSE that. I began to appear more feminine because that's what I wanted, not because some middle-aged male advice columnist advised me to explore my "trickster" attitude toward gender. Phooey on that.

So I posted a comment here regarding this matter and then I gave it a few days and realized I was still irritated about this topic. I was irritated by Cary's response and at his lack of foresight. I kind of wish he would respond to the overwhelming opinion that his advice was founded on whopping misconceptions and an unusual (for Tennis) lack of compassion.

I worry that the readers of Salon are too harsh, that I'm too harsh. When we agree with a writer we don't necessarily say so, but if someone steps on our toes we will go out of our way to condemn them. It's not balanced.

But I still feel irritated regarding this particular bit of writingHm. Anyhow, thanks for your mostly decent advice, Cary. I don't even mind the rambling so much as there is some wisdom in there, which, there usually is.

It amazes me, particularly within these pages, how much everyone loves telling strangers to divorce their spouses. This person writes one letter and you want them to make a life-changing decision that will separate them from their husband/wife for the rest of their lives. You get one moment of smug satisfaction, of believinng you're the better person, and they get legal documents and a broken family. Doesn't seem exactly righteous to me.

It's a good reminder.

"Remember how we use to have arguments about who was better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!"

Yes, by those standards Prince did win. But only by virtue of the fact that sleeping with kids is pretty much one of the worst things you can do in our society. By my book, suing your own fans still make you a suck-ass suck suck.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJr1f5mcpZ8]

you have the best job in the world. just listening to this story is pure joy!

And may I say, Mr. Breathed, that you have an alarming resemblance to a certain favorite spy of mine. Or does he resemble you? Hmmm.

"Slugfest"? Really? It's only a "fight" if you make it that way. They're politicians. They're debating the best course for the nation and, yes, slinging barbs. But it's only as much of a "fight" as the media wants it to be.

Six months from now Salon is going to post an article about the dirty tricks, half-truths and hype of the media, as if to set yourselves apart from the fray. Nobody benefits from a "fight", certainly not the voters, except for the media who need a good story.

God dang. No matter what happens in this election, Salon wants to narrate the story in terms of Hillary. Blah, blah Hillary. It's getting ridiculous. You want her to win and you're edging out all the coverage for the other candidates.

I am so psyched that Barack won the Iowa primary! It just goes to prove that the media has no clue whatsoever on what the American public really wants. You want to dictate to us what our opinions are, not reflect them. I hope he takes it all the way to the White House and proves everyone wrong. That would be the most spectacular karmic reinvention of the American dream ever!