Okay, I have heard this a lot. I understand that blue states feel frustrated, that they are providing welfare to red states.

But. There is a but. I work for the State of Wyoming (I'm a Dem, please don't throw things). Our state is huge with a small population. Much of the federal money we receive, that you imagine comes from your state, is actually the mineral royalties that companies extracting oil, gas and coal from our state pay to the feds, who then rebate a share back to us. That money didn't come from California!

Secondly, as a big square state, we have many roads. In particular, we have a major east-west road (I-80) that serves as an important trucking route (I-70 isn't so great for trucks). The trucks hauling cargo across that road, the entire width of the state, are not serving the people in the state. They are not carrying goods produced in or bound for Wyoming. Nevertheless, the road must be maintained so that goods can travel across it (Ditto I-25). Wyoming local traffic is a minor part of the travel on I-80. Should we beggar ourselves to ensure that goods can travel across the country? No. That is a federal or federal/state partnership responsibility.

I do understand the frustration and anger that larger, blue states have toward the rather backward red states. But things are not as simple and obvious as you and many others assume. I think that's often the case. The difference between us and the republicons is that we are capable of looking into things and finding the nuance and less obvious background, while republicons rely on slogans (they're criminals, deport them all, for example).

Of course we all feel guilty and anxious from time to time about how we parent our children. But that constant internal running dialogue...good heavens! Also, I would have carried the book. I would have wanted to model generosity and concern for someone else's wishes. If you want to make it a lesson, you can even say that! Hey, I will carry your book for you so can bounce your ball. That says to him, you are important. What you want to do is important. I recognize that and choose to make it easy for you to do what you want.

Isn't that how you want your son to act later toward his wife and children, and now, toward you?

Maybe the most important thing is to have a little fun being a mom. This is a person, probably an interesting and certainly an energetic person you have. You can have jokes! Routines! Races, like who gets their seat belt on first! You can actually enjoy humor with your son.

If my son accused me of being a mean mom, I would always enthusiastically agree. I would start listing all of the ways that I was mean, getting more and more ridiculous, while he would chime in. I would talk about how I always cut his fingers off and held his hand to the stove and beat him with thorny branches, and only gave him scratchy blankets for his bed and tiny little bath towels and generic macaroni and cheese (these were the ridiculous exaggerations). And commiserate, he was just a little soul out there floating around, if he'd been the slightest bit lucky, he would have been inserted into the body of a boy born to a nicer, richer, family, but no! He got stuck with us!

Ah, the injustice! I would say. Now go get your dirty laundry. He would, generally laughing by then.

I think being a parent is supposed to be fun, at least part of the time.

But you know, while we doing something about the bad people who rape others, in a society, each person CAN do something about their own personal safety. One of the things that women who rightly fear being raped can do is not deliberately become helpless and an easy victim.

I'm not saying that the world should work this way. But you know, I lock my car. The door to my house. I lock my computer when I get up and walk away to safeguard the private health information on it! And I don't get so drunk that I don't know what's going in a public place where anything could happen, because that increases the likelihood that something bad will happen, to me.

It is reasonable to accept both things. People shouldn't rape people, never, under any circumstances. People should understand that there are bad people who break rule number 1, and protect and conduct themselves accordingly.

Well, that's true, in the absence of roofies can be extra strong drinks. And that is very hard to protect yourself against, though going to the party with trusted people certainly helps, per your example.

Of course you can't completely protect yourself. But you should where you can.

Once upon a time, Wyoming wanted to build a coal slurry pipeline to send coal through to the markets. That idea was killed by railroad propaganda. They found a great hook, for arid Wyoming anyway--that it would take too much water.

THAT would have been the cheapest way to move coal. By far.