Letters to the Editor
Lobelia
Published Letters: 201 Editor's Choice: 6
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Hyphenation is Hell
[Read the article: Should I take my husband's name?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My worst moment was in my first marriage when my dear ole Dad wouldn't recognize my choice to not change my "maiden" (oh my stars and garters) name. I had explained to him that I wasn't going to change it, because it meant a lot to me NOT to. He continued to mail me letters calling me "Mrs. Lobelia Altarboy". It really upset me. Finally I said to him one day, "You gave me this name, and now you won't let me keep it?" He never did that again.
Fast forward a decade. Marriage Number Two. My swain insisted he was most eager to change his name, let's hyphenate! I became Lobelia Blahblah-Blah. WHAT a hassle. I had thought it was because he was a great feminist. Turned out he found "Smith" sort of dull, but thought Blahblah-Smith had panache.
Another (really long) decade. So afterward, I shelled out for a lawyer to change it all back. Headache giganormous pain in the butt.
All these years since, he's stayed hyphenated. And married a Russian bride. So he's Bramble Blahblah-Blah, husband of Siberian Blahblah-blah. Neither of their names has much of anything to do with being married, and they're fine with that.
Me. I hope to marry again! I'd rather change my name to...Lobelia. Like Cher. But it's all too tiring. Plenty of other things to name in the world. Like pets.
The whole thing is a minefield, emotionally. Igggh. Prisoner Number Nine.
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Lobelia's Lineup Tonight
[Read the article: Bill Richardson's big ouch ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Chris Dodd is an articulate grownup. I trust him.
I am so annoyed by the media's obsession with Hillary. I think she's solid in ways but waaaaaay too slick. Even though Edwards' attacks are irritatingly practiced I think he's onto her fatal flaw--she's a politician who's too political. I'm tired of her "I think the American people know..." (Quit pandering by saying my name all the time. It's transparent).
I like Obama. He gets rattled and I think his cabinet choices would be crucial. He's smart and thinks straight. I'm slipping, maybe next time.
I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. (Unless I have to.)
Richardson sings Kumbahyah and he's inarticulate. The world is done snickering at Bush and they're sharpening their swords.
WE CANNOT AFFORD ANOTHER INARTICULATE PRESIDENT.
Biden is intelligence, fresh air, and funny. Extraodinary.
Edwards is the ONLY one with passion about poverty.
Kucinich is unbending principle. Brilliant, and pays attention to the meaning of words.
Wolf Blitzer has the most annoying airless monotone on television. And Obama is right on to slam his drip-drip cynicism. Blitzer's gotcha yes-or-no's are mindless.
I am back to whom do I trust. Tonight I trust Dodd-Edwards. Dodd for his quality of presentness, paying attention, and appearing to truly have the big picture. Edwards for his domestic vision.
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Give Backrubs to the Ancient
[Read the article: I can't stand losing my beauty as I age!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I am hugely attracted to old people with a sense of physical humor.
The first ladies who sported the garish reading glasses won my admiration. Likewise, people with canes who decorate them with plastic vines (well, I haven't seen that but I have plans).
Huge blatting laughter coming out of old bodies. That is very very beautiful. Old people tottering into a watering hole saying "Make way, make way, or I'll fall on you!" Haw.
I still have hopes of meeting an oldster who carries a hearing trumpet.
I've grown my hair out blinding white and am startled by the emotion in the compliments I get (most always from women). I always feel I've seen a spurt of steam from a well deep beneath the crust.
I think I'll grow it to my ass since that's "not allowed" and what was spray-on flourescent hair color invented for anyway?
Being playful about beauty, about "ugliness", about our uniquely personal selves is imo the most healing way to go. Also, read this and then rent the film:
http://www.davidroche.com/meet-david-roche/
Don't worry about your feelings. How could you help it in this culture? The good news is, you have decades to develop your inner life, and to love more people. You won't worry about your wrinkles on your deathbed.
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Here, Y'All
[Read the article: I can't stand losing my beauty as I age!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Read this from our old friend Annie:
http://www.davidroche.com/anne-lamott/
xo,
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NO!
[Read the article: Diamonds and pearls and the b-word]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]We're not!
I despair!
I wanted to shake her (the student) until her little rabbity teeth wobbled! But I wanted to STRANGLE the unctuous, imprecise, meaning-masticating interviewer, too.
With women like that in the national spotlight, utterly wasting such precious access to the national ear, who needs enemies...
Thank you, Joan, for highlighting the heartbreaking regressiveness of that closing question. Thank you, Joan! I havent seen you mull over the power of such symbols much.
Not. Amused.
Heaving a brainy, bosomy sigh (upon which slowly sagging bosom neither pearls nor diamonds perch, because we don't NEED expensive rocks mined from earth or sea by third-world laborers to signal our value...oh when will people thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink)...
And before you yell at me, Brightstar, it grieves me EQUALLY to see men in the suit-and-strangling-tie uniform...