Cary's advice was spot-on. When i was in a somewhat similar situation, however, I did it differently.

I met a woman in a social setting, we clicked, we talked, there was chemestry, we spent a wonderful weekend talking and being intimate. we stayed connected, and then - she lost her job, and thus her ability to sustain her apartment, and was evicted. She asked if she could stay "until she got her feet under her", and in a moment of generosity, I accommodated her needs in my two-room grad student flat.

Turns out she was a boozer (which is why her "viciously unfair" employer released her, as I began to piece together a reality far, far different from the fantasy this woman was living......) and while reasonably clever, not so clever as to hide all of the evedence. When I asked her to move, she became teary and spoke movingly of suicide. The conversaqtions became repetitive, and when I suggested that I would change the locks, she threatened to set fire to her car in front of the apartment buidling with her in it.......She accused me of being cruel, vicious and disturbed, clearly creating a circumstance where I felt guilty for wanting my privacy, my personal space and a booze-free apartment. This impasse lasted for several weeks, during which time I spent more and more time on campus, and less in my own home, exploring options that involved something other than circular harangues. The options for men are few and far between, If I threw her out physically, she could raise all kinds of slanderous charges. She had never threatened me physically in a way that I could convincingly document, and so I did not have the potential for constructed legal action.

So, I scraped together some pennies, rented her a furnished efficiency apartment (on the other side of town) and then, when she was out binging one long weekend, moved her stuff in, changed the locks, and waited on the doorstep for her to return, her keys to her new residence in my hand. In the apartment, waiting for her, was a bottle of her favorite booze, a list of AA meetings in the area and a minimal, but decent stock of food in the fridge. I also had a moving chat with the local police station, noted the specifics of the circumstance, and spoke of the timing of my gameplan.

The scene was ugly, no doubt about it. Weeks later, residents a block away were still discussing it. It ended with her leaving in a storm, yelling and shrieking at the top of her lungs about my perfidity, keys in hand while a police cruiser drove by, ever so slowly.

As a precaution, I closed all of my credit cards and had new ones reissued, checked my checkbook for missing checks and when I found two, notified the bank with a stoporder. I changed my phone number and de-listed it. And, I thanked the cops.

I never heard from her again.

the issue is not the lack of education, which is a red herring, but the difference of values that runs deep. Part of LW's values calls for profound respect of educational and professional success. That has fueled her own drive to initiate med school, a guaranteed ramp to some level of functional and professional success in this country. One might question the authenticity and depth of that value, given that it is part of the cultural trappings of the emegre Asian community and may not be deeply intrinsically felt, but for now, at 24, LW feels strongly about success, education and assertiveness in the professional workplace.

And, LW's BF doesn't. he is happy with a 9/5 job, traveling at a solid 50 miles an hour, clock in, clock out. While some of the other stories that speak movingly about cultural and educational differences in letters posted in response are rich, even inspiring, the core behind those elegant stories was a shared value of mutual appreciation and an embracing of the differences between the two individuals. LW cannot embrace this profound difference. I would prefer to suggest that that is not shallowness, which some writers have averred, but rather a reflection of complex cultural values that she holds.......and are not all that malliable in mid-stream while battering her way through med school.

In truth, both LW and BF should look for something better. what that is remains to be seen for LW, and I might suggest thqat polishing off med school and reassessing her life after she achieves that substantive cultural goal, might be a useful, even essential, step. In other words, she doesn't know what is better now, and with that focus on education and the grind of med school, there is hardly the contemplative and operational time to achieve that. As for BF, I feel for him.. he has done nothing but be unambitious. In this world, there are far worse crimes, to say the least.......