First, kudos to getting out of an abusive marriage. My wife;s first husband was abusive, and I know the challenges in escaping with your safety, then dignity, intact.

Second, your current boyfriend may be speaking to you out of a sense of guilt, and talking with you serves a confessional need. However, the truth of it is, he really needs to find some internal piece over this, as your "absolution" or acceptance will not work (moreover, your acceptance is superficial, and if the two of you are really as close as you speak to, he may well have a haunting perception of your fears... and would be right on target). His guilt dynamic is internal. If anything, you might suggest some ways of making restitution, if not to the relative, to the world at large - charitable contributions, community service, something that speaks to a need to redress.....but my suspicion is that your boyfriend would really appreciate it if speaking to you about his unspeakable crimes would somehow make him "clean". It doesn't. Action may well be a form of restitution that would allow him to respond to living with a reconfigured sense of values.

Third, I would look very carefully at Tennis' commentary about pattern and repetition... and take some reflective time to consider the potential parallels. Yes, #2 may not be physically and emotionally violent, but there may be a trend you have for selecting men who, in some ways, violate standards and values that most of us treasure and try to live to. And I would suggest that the form of reflection and perspective that you need is not going to be achieved by having the stimulus for that reflection living with you. So, it may be time to bank down the fire a tad. If this guy really loves you, and if he has really, really changed and is willing to evidence that in modified behaviors, then he will understand.

Fourth, "gams on glass" is clearly off her meds, once again.