I can understand that propinquity, along with dialouge about work product can lead to intense and highly personal communications. However, these tend to be situational, and you, LW, have removed yourself from the situation. Prudently.

this guy wants you to Apologize??? for what! Listening to his emotions, supporting his dialogue about his troubled and obvously conmplex marriage, comments about your dating choices?

Frankly, I think you both projected more into this relationship than is truly there. I note that, had there been "true love" (vs true like, or true familiarity), you might have siezed his troubled marriage as a platform to build a new permanent relationship with you. Rather, you hightailed it the other direction, a telling statement from the heart if there ever was one.

What is going on here is that this chap cannot own his own responsibility for his own feelings. He is the one who, of his own free will (I heard no mention of whips or chains...) into a close interpersonal relationship with you. If it was intense in a way that challenged his marriage, that is his issue......NOT yours. This spineless Quisling needs to step up to the emotional accountability plate, sit his wife down, and speak the reality of what happened, and frankly, what did not happen. You have no role whatsoever in that dialogue, and a letter of apology from you is no substitute for his accountability.

If anything, his wife might like a sympathy note, but that would be sarcastic. You owe this man nothing, you owe his wife nothing, and at this point, you now know enough about his neurotic behaviors to cut it off. I would send him one email, recanting your offer, stating that you, personally, have nothing to apologize for. And then do not sustain discusson with him further. You've gotten out, working at a quieter pace with more money and less drama..... enjoy that circumstance.

There ARE models for profound opposite sex friendships. nfortunately, I think both LW and your boss may have gotten somewhat confused about what that friendship might actually constitute.