When my mother would walk into my bedroom naked and grope my genitals when I was twelve, I would suggest that the intent of her nudity was that it was part of a sexual interaction.

When my father would stride into the bathroom while I was bathing, pee into the sink, then comment on my male adolescent development while he sported a partial erection, I would suggest that the intent of his nudity was that it was part of a sexual interaction.

When my wife and I rescued my grand-nieces and nephew from a squatter's environment in a slum, and it was necessary to shuck months of accumulated grease, grime and crud from the kids, and they were terrified by being alone in the bathroom, my gently taking each of them into the tub was a matter of cleanliness. When my nephew couldn't be in the water alone, I went in with him, naked. For him, my being naked, was, in that moment, I belive, a matter of parity, of a level playing field. And, we got the kid clean. And, in playing with the water, this kid laughed for the first time in weeks.

So, LW, it is a matter of intent, and that your intent is convenience, not strutting, then what you do can be comfortable. however, shortly, yoru ten year old boy will have emerging intent all by himself. Boys frequently develop crushes on moms, they're there, they're close, and they're familiar. I would suggest that your nudity might, as puberty emerges, be construed in a more convoluted way as he he struggles with hormone rushes, body changes and all that goes with his shifting from boyhood to manhood. I'm also going to suggest that your nudity gives them permission for the same, and frankly, any self-respecting adolescent boy or girl is gonna want to cover up, from time to time, as they adjust to the changes they are going through. Hitting puberty is an intensely personal deal.

So, innocent as it is, I might suggest that prudence would lead yout to suiting up. You've got seven years before he goes away to college, and then you're free to strip down, once again.

LW, the simplest way to tell if you have a "drinking problem" is by testing the presumptive need by stopping. Contract with yourself to stop for a week or ten days, which is enough to cover off on a cyclic drinking issue driven by a weekly scheule. if it is painful to stop, if you crave drinking, then - you have a problem. If it is not painful, if you barely notice the absence of alcohol,then you do not have a problem. If it is painful, then seriously consider moving through the pain, and staying stopped.

But, the telltale comment that you "crave" that wine suggests that you have tipped the edge in terms of the addiction, and that your body, now, biochemically, seeks the easy sugars available in alchohol. And, given that booze is a depressant, it is fueling both your situational depression (separated from your partner, involved in a competitive environment) and what may be some lingering traces of depression from a frightful upbringing. My guess is, that despite therapy, a loving partner, efforts at repatriation, there may be some unresolved stuff that, in the absense of a continuous support frame, are leaking to the surface.

As a coping mechanism for dealing with pain, alchohol is great. It works on a palliative basis. When one is drinking, pain vanishes, as well as the perception of depression (the reality of depression continues apace, however). The problem is that the impact for those of us who are alchoholics is that it has profound spiralling negative impact on one's body as well as on one's emotional state. The wine, LW, will not solve any problem and will, over time, create more.

So, give it a shot. Stop for ten days, nary a drop, and see how you feel. If it is painful, then - consider your options, which need to include therapy, may include a 12-step program, and certainly involve exploring other coping mechanisms for sustaining a fruitful life while banging out the remains of your doctoral work. Tennis's suggestion of embarking on conversations with those sipping club soda with a twist is interesting... you would turn up a significant number of folks who have posted here, me included.....

When you do make that shift, do be aware of the physiologic implications of withdrawing easy sugars from your body system. Metabolically, your system has become used to that easy sugar, and will seek it in alternative forms....and I note that many alchoholics, me included, deal with highly sensitive body systems when it comes to simple carbohydrates and sugars.

Obviously, this comes from my own experience. I have a genetic predisposition as well as an acculturated dispostion; both parents and an older brother used alchohol to numb pain. Yet, with all my reading, understanding, and self-awareness, it was my wife who pointed out that my capacity had increased, the first sign of the body's serioconversion to synthesising booze with incredible efficiency. With that, I did my time-booze study, and stopped. Fortunately, I stopped it before any of the drama of 'bottoming out", my career was intact, my marriage not challenged..... but in retrospect, life is preferable without the booze. I still crave it - about once every six weeks or so, by now, fifteen years later.... but that is, in the context of things, a manageable craving.