Somehow, this scenario begs to be the beginning plot of a "Six Feet Under" scene; someone dies, and the true nature of their secret life, romantic, idiosyncratic or whatever, works its way out in little time bombs for those who remain.

Certainly maintaining the house a secret addresses all matter of issues, including preserving the sanctity of the nature of the house as a retreat, a sanctuary, and a very private place, concealed from ex's, offspring - all but the next door neighbors, the attorneys, the tax office, the local newspaper......

Certainly the divorce has taken a toll on a very impressionable young 15-year old, who really wishes nothing had changed, and probably is not thrilled with having two mommies (assuming she knows of the relationship; if she does not, the ownership of a house will pale in comparison if she discovers THAT information via the "grapevine"), something that might be entirely acceptable, even chic, in an urban setting, but may be of questionable social credibility for her with her peers as a suburban "American Dream" lifestyle adolescent.

Certainly, the ex-husband will rant and rave, but then, he's an ex-husband, and that is what they do. Unless he has some remaining legal entanglement with LW, he has no basis, and can rant at will, and LW can hang up the phone.

But the real question has to do with the ineffable nature of fate, and the nature of truth, and the nature of a not-big community, where the sudden residence of two women of a certain age in a fully renovated little bungalow that is clearly an adorable love nest is likely to hove into consciousness at some point or another. And, with advancing age, uncertain health and a variety of other factors, the information may come out as simple issues are rendered terribly and sadly complex by the lack of a civil union for same-sex couples.

I think it would be useful to tell the daughter that mommy has a retreat place that she goes to with her partner when she is not with her daughter. Ownership is not a terribly useful concept for a fifteen year old girl, what really needs to be mitigated is the complete secrecy of the "secret life". I am not sure that the daughter need know more than that.....for now. And, the daughter needs to know that the big house in the trendy suburb will remain her home till...... college? graduate school? Marriage? Somewhere, LW needs to transition from the big house on the hill to the love nest in a gentrifying neighborhood where so many things really do not matter but the quality of life really, really does. And, somewhere in here, the fifteen year old will need to grow up. To that end, growing up might be facilitated by a skilled therapist with a practice well-grounded in working with teens. This young girl needs an advocate and an ear in her court, which is not, at the moment, her father or her mother.

I suspect that there are two ways of handling this. One is to be utterly secret (which has worked well to date), the other is to be utterly open. THe latter defies social commentary if LW chooses her words carefully and chooses precisely what she wishes to disclose. She need not talk about the cherry floors or the fact that it is a safe haven, she simply, may need to note that when she is not with her daughter, she is somewhere else. Handled correctly, it could encourage a certain amount of self-possession and self-actualization on the part of the daughter, who could learn how folks conduct independent lives, something she is perilously close to doing herself.

I remember years ago, an article in a local magazine about a gay participant in one of Philadelphia's more prestigeous and fabled Mummer's bands. He desparately concealed his gayness, speaking of the uniqueness of his circumstance only with a promise of anonymity, talking about the need for privacy, tallking about concealing first, his gender orientation, and then later, his dating. As the reporter finished one of his interviews, one of which occurred at the end of a rehearsal, another Mummer approached the reporter, and as the conversation unfolded, noted that he certainly hoped that "joey" would find a nice guy and settle down......

I really don't think LW has anything to hide. That said, she does not have to fully disclose all information. Nor does she need, or even want, to fold this house into her daughter's life. Those are her decisions, and her call.