The telling of a story of sexual abuse whilst drunk simply conveys the deep shame that the victim inappropriately carries about the event. This woman needs more help than an induced friendship.

LW needs to become more informed before speaking with her colleauge again. The book "Courage to Heal" is a classic primer in the field. LW might read the book, inspired to do so by the confidences of her colleauge, and then pass the book forward, a tad dog-eared.

LW might also acquaint herself with Survivors of Incest Anonymous, a 12-step fellowship with an excellent webpage, groups around the world, and on-line groups as well. (SIAWSO.org) In addition, they have a substantive body of literature written by survivors of sexual abuse for other survivors. They define incest so broadly that it includes all forms of childhood sexual abuse; the young woman in quesiton certainly qualifies. LW's community may, through various women's advocacy groups, also have resources that could support this young woman.

Thus prepared and "armed", LW needs, in the most gentle of ways, to address the issue directly, by initiating a conversation that starts with "I was so moved by your story that I sought some information on this, and this is the book I've read, and this is a website I've found, and I want to pass this forward to you because I can see how much pain this causes you." Clearly this young woman is bathed in shame and is now fearful of judgement - classically a direct reflection of the remnants of a child's egocentric view of the events. LW's best effort to provide assistance is to be gentle, but direct, demystefying the material, and speaking to it naturally.

I shy away from the issue suggesting that LW suggewst therapy, as this young woman seems a bit away from that. However, a skilled trauma therapist, one experienced in dealing with childhood sexual and physical abuse, can work wonders by way of support. When she is ready, she should line up three names, interview each and commence work with the one that she has the most chemestry with.

What LW does NOT need to do is to try, as Cary implicitly implies, to become this young woman's sole emotional support for this issue. Rather, she needs to surround this young woman with the literate support of those who've written about it, who deal with it clinically, or who have experienced it.

And now, let's deal with the pedophile. I would be stunned if this was a singular event; institutionally embedded pedophiles (frequently well-rspected) generally wreak havoc repeatedly, picking out the lonely, the isolated, the accessible..... for their targets. What can be done? Depends entirely upon the nature of the laws of the state. In some, even someone so remote as LW can file an anonymous report, which, once on file, can become part of a body of evidence that may already be accumulating. In others, to be blunt, LW and her colleauge are SOL, as the statute of limitations for reporting can be as short as 2 years following majority and there is no anonymous filing of data. And frankly, before LW's young colleague does anything confrontational, she needs to be far, far more grounded in her own circumstance before she chooses to do anything remotely public. In general, sadly, I note that most legislation does NOT favor the victim, it favors the pedophile.

And now, let's touch on Cary's concern about the veracity of this young woman's story. HOW DARE YOU! I fear this betrays the usual public symptomology about sexual abuse.... it wasn't that bad, she is exaggerating, the details aren't correct, yadayadayada. From my experience of having spent the last fourteen years of my life in support groups for the apalling incest and sexual abuse in MY childhood, the nature of this young woman's story, and the nature of its revalation (whilst drunk) rings sadly and deeply authentic. Traumatic memory is a complex beast, and that what surfaced in a moment of drunken confidentiality is probably just the tip of the iceberg of the abuse experience for this young woman.

And now let's deal with the gender of the gym teacher. LW assumes, alttough her colleague did not identify it so, that the gym teacher was male. Childhood sexual abuse is an equal-opportunity circumstance, and there is increasing emperical evidence that female perpetration is alive and sickly present; albiet not as preponderant as male perpetration (and not as reported). My own experience included sexual predators of both genders, and I've heard, in my years in groups, ever story in the book, including Sunday School teachers (both genders) school teachers (both genders) music teachers (both genders) camp counselors (both genders), and of course, very sick mommies and very sick older sisters who must have learned it froms somewhere. While LW's guess that the gym teacher is male is probably a pretty good one, I would note there is no guarantee..................

I'll leave my soapbox now, but frankly, Cary's advice was too little, too misdirected and too fluffy. Expressing concern about the potential veracity of the young woman's story is utterly naieve, and if it is not naieve, just vicious. This young woman needs LW to be candid, blunt, gentle, focused and not fearful of the information. And, LW needs to be aware of her own tolerances for the information, and needs to steer this young woman to share her story with those who truly understand from having lived it. As for me, I hope that I might see this young woman in a support group sometime, unburdening her shame with those who understand.