There is nothing "automatic" or given in a sibling relationship; it is whatever the lowest common denominator of communication/intimacy the two participants choose to establish; that shows up in any number of responses from folks talking about sibling relationships....... If the younger bro wishes to be "irresponsible" in the older bro's terms, that's his call, at 35, and the older brother can learn to "let go". He is not his dead father, he is not required to hold the hand of a 35 year old, nor, I suspect, does the 35 year old wish it to be held......... (we don't have his commentary, which I suspect would be fascinating).

Like some other writers, I wonder if LW's frustrations mask a larger array of frustrations about his life and his participation in it. To that end, not burning any bridges with his brother, and using the time that his brother is in Europe (whether for three weeks or two years) to "chill" might give him time to sort things out. That communication can be as simple as " I want to wish you well, I think what you are doing is an adventure (doesn't need to annotate that he believes it to be a doomed adventure), and when you return, I hope we can spend some time, not only catching up, but creating a different platform for the way we spend time together". Gives the kid brother something to think about, allows his gears to start churning, and when he does return, they can reassess.

That said, the real issue is for the older brother to look at the roles he plays that he dislikes, understand why he dislikes them, and then dismantle them. If that means he spends less time with his brother (post Europe), so be it. If it leads to a richer and deeper brotherly relationship, so be that.

I'm an architect, but also trained as an artist and a city planner. My wife is a writer. Her comment is that sitting down to a blank piece of paper is like sitting down with a pen and opening up a vein - so deep is the focus, the intent and the exposure. As an architect, I'm paid to be creative on a schedule, which sometimes confounds the creative process, sometimes promotes it.....as an artist, I carve out time for my work out of "personal time", which includes working in several different media. I am told that my work is excellent, and now, at the age of 57, am beginning to look for ways of reaching a larger audience - gallery showing, selling, internet, etc. My practice as an architect is well-established, and my reputation as a specialized designer of a specific building type is secure and my services sought after.

I can understand why, with a deeply mentally ill mom, you would take some time, have some ambivalence about choices, and wish to move slowly. Some random thoughts -

Develop your work in the context of those who are moving towards parallel goals - attend a program, take classes, whether structured around a degree or not (I have four, my wife has none, that simply represents a different process.....), and seek feedback from instructors and peers.... whether you agree or not, the dialogue is invaluable, and it beats the closed-loop tape that one can create in one's head when one works exclusively alone. You will meet a fair share of poseurs and shallow dolts, but you will meet some kindred spirits..... and the dialogue between someone that you share a vocabulary about art with is an extraordinary asset.

Look at anything/everything that you think may amuse you. It is not the specific talent in your hands that will lead you towards skillful art, but rather your vision for what is unique, what is special, what your interpretation of it is. (Recently, I photographed a rotted tree stump with extraordinary texture..... taken out of context, photographed close up, it became an object of some exotic abstraction, not a dead tree stump. My wife claims it is one of my better images, and I hope to use the image as a basis for drawing/inkwork.

Understand that the creative process is work. Even in the context of my profession, many of my colleagues assume that, as a designer, I stand on the mountaintop in the height of a storm and wait for lightingbolts of pure creativity to strke me on the forehead, as if delivered from Zeus. Oddly, it does not work like that; any creative process demands effort, introspection, examination, and study. In other words, work.

Show your work. Being shy (I prefer that over the more loaded word "insecure") is a logical result of growing up with a crazy mom, and can also be the result of knowing that your "vision" is different. Some will not like your work, others will be captivated by aspects of your work that you have not seen, embedded in your work product intuitively and without cognative bearing. All of this will be useful. Always.....

And just go for it. Many letters advocate a "safe" job; if that is rewarding enough while allowing you time to do what you truly want to do, or more hopefully, if it supports/buttresses it, great. If it detracts, why bother?