Letters to the Editor
Huldrenette
Published Letters: 25 Editor's Choice: 4
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The war of the body sizes
[Read the article: Big love]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Thank you, Salon, for an interesting article.
The topic of body sizes tends to polarise people. The fat-positive feel a need to point out how unhealthy thin people are, and the thin-lovers are forever talking about how fat people will die of this and that. But here's the thing: People are born with different body structures! We look different, and some people will never gain/ lose weight no matter what they do, but they still might eat right and exercise. What I'm saying is that Kate Moss doesn't have to be any unhealthier than Oprah, just because she's skinnier. And vice versa. For what you know they might BOTH outrun you on the treadmill.
This is what's especially refreshing about Josh Max's article; although he finds large women more attractive, he isn't disrespectful of thinner women. He doesn't say this is better or that is worse, but rather talks about the reactions people have to each other, and his own experiences in attraction.
I don't believe in the media mould that some people are always screaming about, because if you watch TV, walk past a billboard or leap through a magazine you'll be bombarded by both sides -- both the fat- and the thin-positive. You'll find articles and experts talking about how damaging the standards of beauty are, and you'll see skinny models presented as icons. The fact is that we all tend to treat each other fairly poorly, often with contempt and suspicion. That goes for the thick and the thin.
Nice, then, to see someone who's writing about love, for a change.
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All about the id
[Read the article: A grad student in China has taken possession of my soul]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]She's also married to a husband 10 years her senior, but that's pretty much irrelevant, isn't it?
I assume the LW is trying to say that the age difference is irrelevant, but the way this comes off, it looks like a Freudian slip. Like he's saying her marriage is irrelevant.
The thing is, in China marriages aren't irrelevant, and women especially are expected to be loyal to their husbands. If the grad student did feel something for the LW and decided to pursue those feelings, she'd be ostracized from her community and family. Does the LW honestly think he's worth that? And does he imagine it's what she wants?
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Catbird, you're the one who's arrogant
[Read the article: A grad student in China has taken possession of my soul]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]First off, "Asian" is as vague a term as "European" or "American" is. American women are this, Asian women are that. Blah. There are huge differences between the Vietnamese and Chinese, just as people in New Mexico and New Jersey are not completely the same.
Secondly, in China, arranged marriages are still very common. Your theory is therefore debunked; Chinese women are not groomed by their mothers to catch a husband. Their mothers usually do the catching for them.
Thirdly, China doesn't have a "culture that drowns female babies at birth." Is this brilliant observation the result of your anthropological studies?
My guess is that the Vietnamese men you've hung out with are your kind of people: misogynistic, narrow-minded men with nothing but contempt for the fairer sex. But then, that's only my assumption, and I'm basing it on very little fact -- just the few lines you've typed here. Perhaps I'm as ignorant as you are.
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In response to Anonymous regarding culture
[Read the article: A grad student in China has taken possession of my soul]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]during the reign of the 1-child national law, baby girls were drown in rivers or aborted
Yes, they were, and still are in some places. (The one child policy is still effective.) However, drowning baby girls is not "part of [Chinese] culture," as Birdcat said. It has been a problem in poor, rural parts of China, where people are mostly illiterate.
Or do you believe that evolution doesn't happen, that the world is flat, and that the Earth is the center of the universe?
What does this have to do with the topic we're discussing? And what kind of a way is this to counter arguments? If someone disagrees with you, call them the "PC police" or bring out the really big guns with intelligent design. Though for your information, it doesn't make much sense, as most people who believe in intelligent design are not very PC.
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What bothers me about this situation---
[Read the article: I suspect my wife's "miscarriage" was not spontaneous]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]---is that the LW isn't being a supportive husband. Why should it matter how the pregancy was terminated? Most likely, it's been very hard on his wife no matter what happened. She was already on medication for anxiety and depression, and so was already fragile.
What the LW should do is go his wife and say, "I understand that the recent events have been hard for you. I'm sorry I haven't been there, but I will now." The two of them should discuss the future in regards to children, but probably not until she is stronger metally. And the LW needs to let his wife know in plain words that he'll be there for her whether she wants children or not. Unless of course, he only married his wife to breed.