Letters to the Editor
happy chick
Published Letters: 31 Editor's Choice: 3
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Filter the noise
[Read the article: He dribbles! He shoots! He drives me insane!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Can you plant a bunch of tall hedges or small trees? They filter sound really well. Or can you play music out on your porch while you're relaxing? Or both?
Keep in mind the kid will (one can hope) head off to college soon so your time having to deal with this is finite.
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re 3 Parents
[Read the article: Scenes from a group marriage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Anita, I missed how the twins you described have 3 people's DNA. The older woman's daughter provided DNA, and the man provided DNA. The younger woman only gestated them. Unless they took material from the daughter's eggs and replaced it into the younger mom's?
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What if...
[Read the article: Why can't I find a relationship that will last?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What if you are going to be single for the rest of your life? Of course the people who do that are actually a pretty small fraction of the population, so the odds are pretty low, but maybe you should start getting used to the idea. When I was 31 I found myself in a similar situation to yours. Suddenly I realized that even though I had what looked like a great life, in fact it was only a contingency plan, a time-filler until I met a husband and started my real life. Suddenly I let go of that. I started planning my career as if I would have to support myself for the rest of my life (and, on the flip side, could spend my money exactly as I pleased!). I started planning trips with girlfriends, with family. I started making active plans to go visit relatives I probably wouldn't otherwise have seen until I invited them to my wedding. I started, in effect, living the life I imagined a true adult - not someone in suspended adolescence waiting for marriage to finish her growing up for her but a true adult - would live. Sometimes I stayed in on Saturday nights! Sometimes I went out with friends drinking and meeting hot guys for fun. Sometimes I went with friends to things like the ballet where I would never expect to meet a guy. Number of months of doing that before I met the man I married 2 years later? Three.
But the key is, you can't be doing it because you think it will lead you to meet someone. I really believed I would always be single and truly gave up (not on my looks though; that's important). I decided to recognize that I had a great life, I could casually date and look sexy and have fun but I was a serious career woman with commitments to my family and friends. You have to have the absolute conviction that your life is a perfectly formed object as it is. And if *he* comes along, he's just going to have to find a way to fit. You're not keeping a place open for him. I compromised less of myself for my now-husband than any man I ever dated and he brings more to the table in both an objective sense and in terms of what I want than any of them (in fact, all of them put together). Although another key was my realizing that and being mature about what I was looking for - he wore Dockers! But it wasn't that hard to buy him some new pants.
I wish you good luck. We all make mistakes in our choices when we are dating but you really shouldn't blame yourself too much for where you are, other than maybe to learn from it. Someday when the right person comes along you'll realize it all happened for a reason. Remember the line from Simon & Garfunckel: "Let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together..." That's it. Two fortunes. Together. You can seek your fortune. It won't stop "him" from finding you.
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to Tacroy80
[Read the article: Why can't I find a relationship that will last?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I like what you said but don't you think the need should develop when you meet the right person? Then you need THEM and they need you. But people shouldn't be walking around with this inchoate need.
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And
[Read the article: Why can't I find a relationship that will last?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What ac_in_dc said and what kdollarsign said (not necessarily a class, but be open to nerdy guys).
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The baby
[Read the article: My husband's sighs are driving me up the wall!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Try focusing on getting the baby not to do it, and maybe your husband will get the hint. Is 18 mos. to young for that? I don't know when one can start teaching table manners.
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Food
[Read the article: My migraines make me feel like driving a pickax through my face!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I want to express my deepest sympathy. I think you should try everything that each person on here is suggesting because no lengths are too great to go to if they will lead to a cure. A lot of people in my family were occasional headache sufferers, but when my uncle was in his early 40s he suddenly was seized by headaches unlike anything he'd ever had before. He was walking around the city he's lived his whole life, and suddenly couldn't remember the way to get where he was going. So he tried to ask a stranger for directions, but then he couldn't get the words out and was speaking nonsense. We were worried that he had a brain tumor. In fact, it was a headache so severe that parts of his brain were shutting down in an effort to block out the pain. For a while he took medicine but it made him depressed (chemically). The way he ultimately learned to control it (through his doctor) is to severely restrict his intake of all of the following: caffeine, alcohol, red meat, chocolate, aged cheeses. He had always enjoyed a rich diet until that point but he now limits himself to one coffee or so a day, one drink a day, and very little of the rest of those things. And my understanding is that this has been very successful (it's been 20 years). I offer this only to throw into the mix of possible solutions so that you can have hope of finding a remedy. Best of luck!