Letters to the Editor
happy chick
Published Letters: 31 Editor's Choice: 3
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LW _ best advice
[Read the article: My best girlfriend and I are competing for men]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW I'm so excited that you're reading this and so it's actually worth responding. I would say the best advice here (other than Afro Goddess', which is tongue in cheek but is really a way to externally manifest what will hopefully one day be your internal state of mind) has been from Andrea and Older and Wiser. This is about insecurity. I have been there to a large extent and had a similar friend. When I met the amazing man to whom I am now engaged, I hemmed and hawed because he was "nerdy". In my mind in particular was the judgment that this friend would have passed on him. A dear old friend sat me down and said "Men are like cars. There are some models that have certain features and some models that have other features, and the features come, as with a car, in a package. You have to accept the package, choose a package and take that package. You can't be looking for manual steering and anti-lock brakes in the same package" (or whatever - I don't own a car so insert apt metaphor of choice).
I don't know if that advice is helpful or relevant since this is about much more than men. But I have been there and I think the best thing to do is come to accept yourself and your priorities and stop mirroring some external standards. You need support to do this; for me, religion helped (though that's anathema to say in a Salon message board) and friends and family. You have your children; if there's anyone to turn to to see yourself as a hero, the most beautiful, capable, amazing woman in the world, surely it's them. Let the person they see be the real you.
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BarBri
[Read the article: Say it loud: I'm elite and proud!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LeCastor, actually there are bar review courses after taking which I'm pretty sure anyone could pass the bar. I went to a top ten law school, and not one thing I learned in school was on the bar exam. I passed because of the review course. So passing the bar may mean you're not stupid, but it doesn't mean you went to a decent law school. In some states, people who've worked as paralegals and never been to law school can take the bar.
And yes, this was humor - and it was hilarious.
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Memorial Day
[Read the article: Edwards' insensitive move]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]is about people who died in wars. It is a tribute to the idea that this nation is a collective enterprise but that when the rubber hits the road, the few have to (or, even more humbling, choose to) sacrifice for the many. In some ways it is the most potent reminder of our existence as nation - or else what did people die for? Almost no war enjoyed universal support when it was fought, but here we are as a country, still surviving, (I believe) the longest-lived democracy still in existence. Memorial Day should be about the people who believe in that and sacrifice for it, not about the pros and cons of any particular war. Those in military service commit themselves to take orders on faith, knowing things won't always be handled fairly or intelligently, because they believe in this country as an idea. By criticizing a given war on the day set aside to honor the war dead, we are spitting in the face of their generosity. We are telling them they are stupid to have gotten themselves into a situation where they're taking orders that we (maybe they) don't agree with. On this day, we should not muddy the waters with protesting a current policy, but instead keep the focus on the servicemen and -women and their sacrifices. Whether we agree in how they are being deployed or not, only the most out-of-touch radical can fail to be glad that we have them.
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Too harsh on LW
[Read the article: I'm ashamed to be ashamed of my father]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The people who say the LW is being self-centered seem really off-base and overly critical to me. He could have disengaged from this wreck years ago. And I don't think his letter drips with contempt for his father. I think he laid out the facts pretty plainly, and even managed to showcase his father positive traits. As to what to do, I agree with Cary. We have an expression in my family, " 'Will ye?' is a poor host". Meaning, if you have a guest and you want to give them a drink, serve them something. Don't say "Will ye have a drink?". Quite likely they will say no, but would take some refreshment if presented with it. Same thing with your dad. Just say to him, "I'm going to get the roof fixed because you deserve to live in a nicer house". (I presume you need his cooperation to get the funds to pay a roofer and can't come out of pocket for it yourself - and you shouldn't if he can afford it.) Be careful to present it not as a judgment, but as a situation you see that you want to help him with - perhaps you can even commiserate about the difficulties of home maintenance, etc. Just treat it like a matter of fact that you will help with stuff, that stuff needs to be done in the normal course for people to live in a civilized way and isn't up for debate, and that it's for both of your sakes. It's just something that has to be done; that is a neutral fact, not laden with value judgments about cleanliness and the house's appearance. Because I feel like that's what it really is to you - just a situation that is intrinsically wrong and needs to be righted. I can't speak to the mental health issues that may be there, but it also may be that he is paralyzed by the size of the task and seeing one step taken will show him that this is doable. Good luck; I really applaud your loyalty to your father.