If the pursuit of money is the central purpose of American society, then where does that leave 'human connections?' Pretty far down the list, I'll wager. Part of 'networking' and corporate ladder-climbing and sales relationships.

An old union expression, "An Injury to One is an Injury to All" sounds quaint and stupid in this time. Another, "No man is free while others are oppressed" also sounds stupid and idealistic. Other slogans less tied to the union movement -"United we stand, divided we fall" "No man is an Island" "All for one, One for All" express basic truths of human solidarity (and also divisiveness - as the United we Stand one was used to wage war on Iraq. The definition of 'we' is crucial, of course...) that are rarely born out. How many people are member of organization that actually believe and act on these principles? Very few. Too busy. Too cynical. Too individualistic.

Most people's only social involvement is their family - and families are biological accidents. To expect the family to provide all social interaction is putting too much on a very limited institution. That is why movies making fun of families are so easy to make. The "dysfunctional family' has become a standard trope for comedy, and a boring one at that.

Until some other value besides money becomes the primary interest of Americans, and other societies, of course, 'loneliness' will be built-in to the social fabric.

With all due respect to the terminally Baptist, Jehovah's Witness, Mormon, Snake Handlers, Golden Calf Worshipers, or whatever other spiritually retarded brand of self-delusion who are cooperating in this assault on Reason (Thank you, Al Gore!) and on plain common decency, let me just say:

STOP THIS NONSENSE!

Because in addition to 'electing' this 'devout' Scion of a Bush for 8 exasperating and ruinous years of malfeasance, death and destruction, you are continuing your crusade against the human spirit and the human mind with your Virgin Birth obscenities! No wonder people feel 'loneliness', espeially at this spiritually insulting time of year!

Please come up to my high moral level ;-) and disabuse yourself of this suicide pact of bible literalists that is eating you alive. Open your eyes and ears to the idea that religion just may be YOUR worst enemy -- from this very seriously funny man:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

"With his indecencies, George Carlin makes us more decent."

- Kurt Vonnegut

BUT, I would very disappointed if you subscribe to EVERYTHING that is said in this YouTube video!

What our society lacks, that it probably can never reclaim, is common goals necessary for our survival. In more primitive times, people relied on each other for food, housing, etc. Now? It is entirely possible to survive without ever personally interacting with another human being. We can have our intellectual needs met via the internet. Attempts to create community can only go so far because inevitably personality conflicts arise. Absent the true necessity to work out our personal conflicts, many of us choose to avoid. We can create artificial common goals, but we all know, underneath it all, that with most things we can just walk away. We don't have to work things out with people anymore. It creates loneliness.

Accept and tolerate that everyone else does not think or believe exactly the same thing as you do and has no obligation to entertain and flatter you and make you feel good about yourself all the time. Interpersonal relationships require give and take, and tolerance of certain things you disagree with while still listening to the others' thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

Lost your urge for instant gratification. Don't automatically dump someone from any contact just because he or she seems boring, not very smart, uninteresting, threatening your ego, religious, conservative, or even racist.

Don't expect every relationship to be soul-shaking and earth-shattering and all-consuming and life-altering. Take the small and easy ones, too -- like a "hi" with the supermarket cashier, a smile with the mailman at work, a box of donuts for your coworkers, including the ones you secretly despise.

Generosity and tolerance have really been missing in this society, often among people who think they are oh-so-smart and educated and enlightened. The at-each-other's-throat political and media environment in the past 15 years has driven a lot of people to hate other people and feel righteous about themselves.

Most important, GET OVER YOURSELVES.

I agree with the premise of this article. I have learned in my 55 years that I don't need to follow the herd as far as human rituals are concerned. I broke off with the idea of "christmas" when I was nine. When I hear the words,"merry christmas" I say, "same to you." The thing is, we all want to have companionship, but we can find that within ourselves. We don't have to be shut out because we don't "have someone" to share our desire to communicate with. We have every opportunity to communicate with all sentient beings on this Earth. Be greatful we have an Earth to live on. There are more things in Heaven and Earth than exist in our philosophy.

...that's all...

Skybird, I like your point on talking and how to have a conversation.

My Ma taught me to not talk about myself, but try to find common topics that everyone can discuss, even disparate groups. She was very good at it - holding a dinner table conversation that involved everyone. I ask a lot of questions precisely for this purpose, and I'm sure people think I'm just a dim-witted boob who needs instruction, or I'm deeply impressed by their lives. I get a lot of people who like me because I'll listen to their long-winded opinions. Perhaps I'm giving them the rope to hang themselves with, but they rarely realize that.

I also am constantly stunned by how many people cannot last through someone's statement without stepping on it to say ... something completely different! Changing the topic! And then what that person said ... just disappears into the ether. Or in the alternative, trying to immediately 'one-up' the person who just said something, by telling a story that is 'better.'

I have known a whole raft of people who's only topic was ... themselves, or their family. Even when it was not related to the conversation at hand. And these people will go for years, or forever, without noticing this 'tic.' We've all met these folks. These are the ones that most make me run for the hills. Perhaps some good natured ribbing can make them realize it. Perhaps not.