this kind of journalism really annoys me. We THINK we're going to get something scientific, but after all the MRI-induced excitement, we're left with someone who knows nothing about actual evolution pontificating about the evolutionary function of stuff they found in surveys or brain studies, which is what they are trained in. It's not even theory--it's just making stuff up, much like 19th century researchers did with the brain (sensorium, anyone?). Also, was that sleep study controlled for apnea? Because those awakenings sound exactly like sleep apnea.

None of this is meant to denigrate the stuff the sources really do know about or the seriousness of the topic. It's just that the piece takes the easy way out.

I don't have suggestions, like yoga (an excellent one, BTW), but I wish I could make you realize something, just by telling you. I am 65. I was in the prime of life, physically and emotionally, in my 40s and 50s. I still had excellent intellect and memory,some wisdom by that time, a beautiful and healthy body. Now, I am blissfully happy with a fairly new husband and work I love. But I realize my 40s and 50s (NOT my 20s and 30s) were my prime. Part was due to Jane Fonda, who taught women of my generation how to be in top shape physically. That may seem a small thing, but it's actually huge, if you want to enjoy the best years of your life--the 40s and 50s. PLEASE don't miss them!

What depresses, but does not make me lonely, is the realization that many of my fellow-sister humans are frightened little egos.

Remedy: Seek and find simpatico souls. They abound, if you learn how and where to seek them. Jettison the flotsam, cultivate the FEW and the trek can be energizing, interesting and fun--wondering how long the madness will continue.

That's probably the first thing that Americans need to get a grip on, and then take it from there. I'm a little sick of the movies that mock family life, create idiotic acting parents and unthoughtful relatives, and all around treat families like they are dirt, dumb, and, like, so uncool, man.

Maybe if we reflected back to ourselves more positive happenings our attitudes toward the holiday would change. That, and reexamining why we need to have all the "hustle and bustle" to begin with.

I know plenty of people who have, over the years, removed the crass commerical crap out of their holidays. No more stressful sit-down family dinners that take weeks to plan, shop, and then cook all day. No more hunting for that certain toy and fighting with everyone else to get "the one." And no more spending tons of money that takes 6 months to pay off to demonstrate just how loved everyone should feel with these gifts.

Let's get real about what it's important and so many other emotional issues might improve. Being with the people that you really care about is all that matters no matter what time of the year it is. Laughing, eating a little good food, and telling stories is what connects us to one another. Does it take a little effort? Sure. But not like what we see in the movies - or what the corporate marketing creeps would have us believe and do.

genuine insecure attachment as a child leads to a horrible fear of rejection. instead of reaching out for people, and expressing loneliness and the feeling of it especially around this time, we tend to keep it to ourselves. one letter writer said she didn't have people whom she felt she could speak to about her real feelings. the reverse is probably what's happening. she doesn't reveal her real feelings so others keep their distance, as well.

personally, i feel like a real shmuck when i am needy and quite desperately want to make contact. even with loving people, friends, i shudder at the very idea of being rejected as a needbag. of course, those are my own thoughts (toward others who uncomfortably remind me of myself).

an unconscious revulsion is, i think, peculiar to the american culture with its focus on individualism, and its central theme. for those of us who are several generations away from roots of a more collective society (large, extended families always have a few close relatives with whom there is a secure birth attachment)uspeakable loneliness is by now probably an established brain circuit. and, as those relatives depart, we're pretty much screwed.

one incident that i cannot ever forget, was the homeless man standing on the sidewalk with his hands out palms up, pleading very loudly, please help me. loneliness, when it is given a voice sans several layers of protective coating burnished daily, revealed.

passersby reacted as expected, speeding up into a run, rushing past with their heads down so as not to make eye contact. me, too, of course.

Are you lonely, honey? Go to Darfur and walk around for a few days with and empty stomach and see if the doesn't help you learn to count your blessings, you middle class boobs.

...Sheesh!!

For those who are among many who experience 'loneliness' during the Christmas stress test, I have words of encouragement for you.

This feeling may not be of loneliness? If you consider that this time of year abounds in conspicuous consumption, working to a frazzle to meet a manUNkind's outrageous demands to consume, as well as the omnipresent tyranny of 'virgin birth' and all of the other absurdities which are totally inconsistent with a healthy mind and against which the rational human mind rebels and recoils in ... loneliness?

The feeling which a lot of us experience this time of year requires recognizing that, unconsciously, the body is reacting as it should against any acceptance of these absurdities. The body is saying that Something Is Wrong Here. And what is wrong ISN'T YOU! Be comforted by the fact that you ARE perceiving this tyrannical encroachment into your life.

For further reinforcement against this annual frenzy against all decency, true spirituality and a healthy human mind, please see

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BaGHKe5oi0