Sorry, folks, I know it's not couth to just berate a letter writer, but come on.

Biff, you read Salon. You know how to use the internet. How hard is it to type "on the nose dialogue" into Google? I mean, sure, at first I thought it was lame that you'd never heard the idiom "on the nose", but then I realized maybe you're not a native English speaker and thus haven't had exposure to clichéd phrases like that. But please.

Here, I'll save you the typing. Copy and paste:

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22on+the+nose+dialogue%22

I thought it was ridiculous that you asked your question in the first place. But to get all huffy and annoyed that the "community" isn't rushing to the aid of your laziness and/or stupidity really belies your true inner loser.

Yes, Biff, everyone knew, and you are so clueless that we all thought it wasn't worth wasting time responding.

Now, can someone please tell me why tomreedtoon reads Heather's column? And why he feels the need to toss insults out of left field when there's nothing substantive for him to criticize?

(Biff, you know what to do now to learn what "out of left field" means.)

--dak

I get it now.

You're kidding, right? Have you ever HAD a Czech beer?

That was uncalled for. I'm tired of the media's constant Czech bashing. And never a mean word about Hungary. Hmmmm.

There was a gay teen dealer in the first season -- his arc lasted exactly 1 and a half episodes. I've watched every episode -- there is no gay FBI agent.

Tomringworm clearly saw maybe 2-3 episodes, and has a crappy memory.

One issue that irritates me is not that they're all ultra-glam but that there are practically no straight people in the universe. Are we incapable of holding an important--even central--place in a show unless 90% of the characters are gay? The show ends up feeling like this weird little bubble.

I hate the way it separates the women from the rest of society instead of showing them as a normal part of it. I'm just tired of seeing gay people portrayed as aliens. The longer that goes on, the longer that (mis)conception will remain.

I hear you. It was the same way with Queer as Folk, the obvious inspiration for this show. To be fair, I think there is a worry that if straight people are featured prominantly, then their issues will be featured prominently, and gay issues will be shoved to the side even on a specifically gay drama. The trouble, of course, is that the choice they made promotes the illusion of a a "gay ghetto" that acts as some kind of social bubble outside of which gay characters rarely venture. And this is not the case. Plus, it implies gays don't have strong relationships with straights, another falsehood. But I understand the need to pare things away and simply for the sake of a dramatic series.

I was disappointed by Queer as Folk, with its one-dimensional characters (I gave up in the middle of the third season; it was just so ridiculous), and I was disappointed by Will and Grace, with its stupid, cartoon characters. But I just tell myself "It's television. It's not art. It's commerce. And usually generic." And remember to be grateful that Six Feet Under was the rare exception to the rule.

It is dialogue that is not so much bad as to exact, not oblique enough.

Good Dialogue (LAWRENCE OF ARABIA):

Scene - Sharif Ali is insulted by TE Lawrence

ALI

Or is it because we are a little people, barbarous and cruel?!

Same Dialogue, On the Nose Version:

ALI

You don't respect me, or my people!

See the difference? Choose any film with genuinely great dialogue and you will find that there are almost zero occurrences of "on the nose" dialogue. Take for example BODY HEAT. This great exchange between William Hurt and Kathleen Turner:

HURT

I want someone who'll rub my tired

muscles and turn down my bedsheets.

TURNER

Why don't you get married?

HURT

I only want it for *tonight*.

This is just before she goes back into her house, he breaks through her sliding glass door and they screw like crazy. Here's the on-the-nose version of the same dialogue:

HURT

I wanna get laid tonight.

TURNER

Ok.

Now that's a bit of an extreme, but you get my point. On-the-nose dialogue is one of the hardest things a screenwriter has to work at to avoid.

Who is the gay drug dealer and gay FBI agent on WEEDS? WTF did I miss now...

Really I do. But it's lame. It seems to be made with (surprise, surprise) the gratification of heterosexual men in mind. They're happy to sit (or fast-forward) through the pretentious dialogue to get to the girl-on-girl action.

I'm not. And I hate the way it separates the women from the rest of society instead of showing them as a normal part of it. I'm just tired of seeing gay people portrayed as aliens. The longer that goes on, the longer that (mis)conception will remain.

The crazy thing is that the people behind the show are lesbians. I think that Ilene Chaiken went off the deep end after she got involved with ezgirl, the *cough* genius *cough* behind the music (including the lame ass theme song).

... Melrose Place w/ lesbians, cuss words, and more graphic sex scenes. And just as junkily addictive!

Really I do. But it's lame. It seems to be made with (surprise, surprise) the gratification of heterosexual men in mind. They're happy to sit (or fast-forward) through the pretentious dialogue to get to the girl-on-girl action.

I'm not. And I hate the way it separates the women from the rest of society instead of showing them as a normal part of it. I'm just tired of seeing gay people portrayed as aliens. The longer that goes on, the longer that (mis)conception will remain.

I can't verify Heather's comments about these shows, but she is right on the nose when it comes to Stouffer's chicken pot pie. Question for the SAT review: Stouffer's is to "24" what Banquet is to ?