...and my reaction is simple: Heather, will you marry me?

I know it's a little early in our relationship to be popping the question. You might be a little ticked off, too, because I've been a Salon subscriber for a long time, and I'm only just now paying attention to your work.

Well, truly, it was my loss, and in any case, I apologize. Now that I know that you're there, things will be different. I look forward to more of your insouciance, which I suspect hides a deeply caring soul. And then there's the part where you just make me laugh a lot. I look forward to that, too.

And as a male, I have to say 1) too much parenthetical chatter 2) narrative voice kind of cynical & demeaning.

Oddly, the writing is kind of like the show. Vaguely annoying.

I'm wondering whether to keep reading Salon. It's just been two weeks since I added it to my Google homepage. At least today, all of its articles are, in my opinion, completely irrelevant, and ...

BOURGEOIS

Heather, funny article.

It seems difficult (not hypocritical) to be committed to critiquing the rancid, boiling pustule on American society known as network television when there are so many worthier pursuits - such as improving oneself, doing meaningful and fulfilling work and reaching out to people less fortunate. And occasionally doing a Sudoku puzzle.

That said, nice reviews.

Women constitute the majority of the country yet still do incredibly silly things like vote for misogynist Bible-thumpers, watch network television or live where straight men are scarce. There's a clue phone, ringing in the background, here...

Of course, I'll take a whoring sea-donkey over a self-neutered land-yak any day... Yes, there are many of my kind, self-confident, successful straight men pining away in OC.

This guy was the first contestant on the very first episode of SYTYCD?, and his amazing style nearly took my breath away. I particularly liked how he kept repeating, "I want to project a very sexual male image." I also liked how his insane mother kept screaming, "You're sexy, David, SEXY!" What happened to that guy? Couldn't they have just passed him so that we could keep watching the insanity?

Re Deadwood, undoubtedly, having the opportunity to watch all 5 eps immediately, you betcha she did. I would have! Some things are that good, and Deadwood is one of them.

So I only skimmed this.

However, I have spent significant time in the undeveloped world.

Um, some of you all readers? Satire challenged much?

I'm glad someone else was thinking of the coochie/Gucci lyric from the Jay-Z & AMIL song. I always wondered about the coochie being in the Gucci lane.

As for San Fran...not a town really friendly to straight women, esp. straight white single women. just my opinion.

Tired of these shows (and our culture as a whole) that humiliate single women, like we think of nothing else but how to snag a man and learn new cosmetic tricks. grrr.

...was the review of "How to Get the Guy" or whatever it was actually called. Heather, you rock my world, if only because my slave-to-the-narrative nature is sated by your column and I don't have to waste valuable time watching this crap.

It's true that San Francisco is the worst dating town I've ever lived in, and it's my hometown, so that's unfortunate. I'm working in New Orleans these days, and the first date I went on here -- even though it was, on a certain level, terrible -- blew my mind.

It's also true that these women let themselves in for this stupid show. Sentient adults who aren't schnockered don't have to sign waivers.

But nobody should take a TV review personally.

Well done!

I hate to watch. 10 minutes of surfing most of this shit makes me want jump up on stage with a Samurai sword and go to town. I swear, we need a show called "How to get the Guy...If you're Aileen Wuornos."

Loved the article. Droll, condsending, and yet actual humanity lurks about below the surface. I think I'll even try out the dance show....but, probably not. Summer is a bad time for TV is because we want to be outside doing something. If it weren't for TiVo I'd have to miss Deadwood too...

I actually kind of liked "How to get the guy". The women are smart and engaging and I found myself rooting for them. The advice is a bit breezy, but I didn't find it offensive. I agree with Heather that one has to be true to oneself, but I didn't see the advice as being against that; more it was about tailoring the presentation of that self to best advantage. Also, the show pretty much gave credence to Heather's feelings about Frisco men: the men in that speed dating segment were so appalling, I actually believed they were actors until I read today's column.

Yes, it was odd to see Anne taking that guy's hand and her comment at the end about having to wait for his call was off-putting, but this was the first show. These things may be dealt with in future episodes. I'm willing to stick with it.

I don't even know how to respond to the people defacing Salon with porn. It seems like an odd way, an impotent way to shake one's fist at the heavens, or at Heather.

Niall at least makes a point, although he is wrong, and condescending. Condescend to the condescending: that's always been his way. Today, he weighs in as a friend to the defacers.

Heather has been making people laugh for quite awhile. Some people like reading her; others don't. People who don't should find better things to do with their time, seems like. But the people who react so violently to her schtick are sort of making her point for her.

Honestly, can people get more stupid than they already are? So far, we've seen a bunch of angry men decide to take up arms because Heather snarked on them. We've got people obviously pissed off that Heather scored a writing gig that pays. We've got people linking to pics of porn. So what's the point of these letters to the editor? I've rarely read them thinking "Gosh - these make Salon a better place." I pay money for my membership here and this is one feature I could do without.