Heather Havrilesky has succeeded, terrifyingly, in parodying both herself and Cary Tennis at the same time, while also throwing in a healthy dose of mockery for her entire line of work and (perhaps a little bit) the deeply anti-critical culture of her newfound home.

The mind reels. Oh, and there was something useful in there about television shows too, but really that kind of droll purely informational reading is like asking if you can have sawdust instead of ice cream for dessert.

And I was never that into them in the first place. Now I HATE vampires. I didn't used to. I even went as Dracula one Halloween when I was a kid but this obsession with all things vampire has gotten out of hand. Being a Superman fan I already have to sit through this teen angst crap for Smallville, that's more then enough for me.

What a treat. HH is one of the reasons I continue my premium Salon subscription. Keep it coming.

Usually needs to be funny.

This was an interesting writing exercise for you, I'm sure. But just like musicians don't record themselves doing scales, you probably should have put this one somewhere other than the column that I assume Salon paid you for.

About why Twilight is something that is notable enough to be copied and turned into something even more risible when it should be lining waste paper bins the world over.

...unless women really do like to surrender themselves completely to abusive stalkers.

The source material for this show is based on a trilogy of books written by L. J. Smith. This hasn't been mentioned often in the articles I've seen so far. The books were published more more than a decade ago, before Stephenie Meyer's books were written. I agree that the current vampire craze inspired the TV show, and I have no idea if the show is any good.

I didn't particularly enjoy the one book of the trilogy I did read, but I did like some of L. J. Smith's other books when I was in middle school.

It seems to me that calling the show a rip off isn't completely accurate, and is a bit unfair to the author of the original books.

I have noticed that her work is being printed again, the new volumes combining more than one book in each series. It may not be high art, but it can make enjoyable reading, and I think the author deserves to be credited for her work.

I sat through the pilot for Vampire Diaries at Comic Con so I could see the awesome Mythbusters panel that followed.

The problem is the show is trying so relentlessly hard to be earnest and 'deep' that it just falls flat. It desperately needs a sense of humor. It doesn't need to be blatant, but just a small acknowledgement that this has all been done before, a small in-joke, something. Williamson has shown in the past that he is capable of playing on cliches but fails miserably here.

And the lead actor is bad. He has about as much charisma as a can of paint only with less acting range. It makes all those scenes of high school girls drooling over him the whenever he walks by seem really dumb.

That being said the two teenage girls in front of me found the show great and gushed about it. So I guess they are hitting there target demo.

As for the show being based on a book series that came out ahead of Twilight, Tru Blood and Buffy, that's true, the writers and actors spent a LOT of time stressing that fact. But lets run down the cliches:

Good vampire wants to feed on female lead the second he sees blood.

Girl wonders off into woods alone (I hope nothing bad happens)

Sassy best friend

Good vamp just wants to be normal - Bad vamp just wants to feed and enjoy the 'freedom'

etc etc

I was predicting dialogue for pity's sake.

Skip it.

Heather, meet Cary!

Cary, meet Heather!

You two have so much in common now, you'll find plenty to talk about!

You're making a pretty big jump with sentences like "...the gushing tears and restless longings of adoptive mothers, who experience the same guilt at not being able to bear children to their loving husbands that you experience when faced with your own inherently whiny nature." There are many parents who have chosen adoption for reasons other than infertility. Looking at the info on WE.com for the show, it looks like they are possibly only focusing on infertile ones, but it also talks about foster-child adoption, which is quite often done by parents who already have bio-kids. Not to mention the fact that some of those mothers you describe might be emotional about raising a child with their wife, or even by themselves The agency in the show features male couples on their website and the claim that they are one of the few who has never had discriminatory policies. They also do not exclude parents who have biological children (or the ability to produce them) from participating.

I'm guessing you were intending to specifically describe the episode(s?) you've seen, but try not to exclude us next time.

Some day there will be a show not about the joys of adoption, or the great gift of adoption, but about the adoptees. You know, the ones who are given up at birth (or sometimes a little later) by their "birth" parent(s) and then have to wonder all their lives exactly what they did wrong. And may spend a large part of their adult lives searching for their birth parents so they can ask that nagging question: why? Actually, it's kind of interesting to link vampires and adoption in the same review (or whatever that was). there's a lot of bloodsucking in both instances. And there's a lot of exploitation, too, since it's mostly wealthier couples paying poor women for the privilege of taking their child. Or maybe someday the review will be written by the adoptee, so then maybe it won't be quite so gushy, romantic and fatuous. I'm not against adoption. I'm just against this rose colored, starry eyed view of the whole affair.