LOL!!!

terkoy, now I think I have a pretty good idea of how old you are.

(I already knew how quick on the uptake you are- that was as simple as reading your comment archive.)

What a relief, I thought you were some know-nothing teenager. Turns out you're almost certainly a know-nothing in your 60s. At least.

(What do you mean? I'm not on your lawn! LOL!!!)

Hey, remember when Pyne had the "only black member of the Ku Klux Klan" on his show as a guest? His staff had a talent for turning up real-life straw men for Pyne to eviscerate on the air. Actually a pretty good gambit...they would never try it these days, too many people with freaky exteriors actually know how to turn the tables.

Kids, imagine an early cross between Jerry Springer and Rush Limbaugh- that's the Joe Pyne Show! Yep, turns out Rush didn't invent anything, after all...the biggest difference is that the wider media has long been in the habit of treating Limbaugh as a Serious Thinker- "the voice of the Angry White Male", etc.- whereas back in the 1960s, Pyne was considered downmarket fare reserved for right-wing nutjobs, even though he was actually much faster than Limbaugh could ever be.

http://www.tvparty.com/empyne.html

For all the topsy-turvy madness- overall, this country was much more psychologically secure back then. But in the decades since, whenever the Ronald Reagan Nostalgia Channel has held sway, the nation has pretty much been riding on its rep, playing re-runs and whistling in the dark. The "terkoy years"...here, children, that legacy is yours.

A cook will prepare you a hearty meal that tastes great. A chef just may make you a meal that tastes tastes good, but leave unsatisfied. Being feed by a chef is like having sex with hot hooker, OK at the moment, but ultimately not that satisfying.

The journalist names that come to mind to me are Edward R. Murrow, Eric Sevareid, David Brinkley, and in print Richard Schickel, Gary Wills and Theodore H. White.

By the way, it's a common misconception that science fiction/speculative fiction/fantasy - whatever you want to call it - doesn't need reality. It's the most essential element. How else can a reader relate to it? That reality might be skewed, true. There's a whole subgenre of military-based SF which substitutes aliens or separatists for the Commies and different-colored-skin-humans their right-wing authors would REALLY like to kill. But even that is based in a kind of reality; Jerry Pournelle based his mass-slaughter fiction on his Korean War experiences.

(Sadly, Pournelle is battling a tumor in his brain. Rumor has it that it's the shape of Rush Limbaugh.)

Anyway, some people will argue that I'm wrong about the end of writers being paid. Especially the writers of the SFWA, the organization of SF and fantasy writers. They never understood the Internet and how it has ended copyright law forever, let alone the process of dead tree publishing. And anyone who takes writing classes, thinking they will earn anywhere close to Steven King money, didn't realize that King got that money by selling the souls of teenage girls to Satan, not by writing. (See the movies made of his "books." You'll see he didn't earn money by writing.)

I've always thought Heather's columns were hilarious, and this one is no exception. She's reviewing t.v. shows, and she knows it. Not even the "deep", meaningful shows. She reviews the dreck that we all tune in to week after week, and anyone with a sense of irony gets the joke. It's a joke, see?

As for chef-t.v., I don't like most of the American shows, as they edit out most of the interesting cooking bits to focus on antics. However, if you watch Ramsay's BBC shows, you may not learn to cook, but you'll see someone who really does love food and wants success in a restaurant. I suppose part of my appreciation comes from actually working in kitchens for years. Most of the chefs swear like that. Hell, you're lucky if all they do is swear as many are raging alcoholics or coke-heads. I remember working with one guy who was a thrower. We all got fast on our feet and good a ducking. The hours are shit, the stress level is incredibly high, but when it works? It is a frickin' ballet! Chefs swirling around the kitchen, staff pouring through, beautiful food heading out, hot, delicious and timely. Happy customers and the euphoria of success. Then again, when things go wrong it is damned ugly. Hours of sweat and screaming until you can close the doors and escape. Ugg. I shudder to remember.

Anytime!

Not me, however. Bears aren't my cup o' tea. More like the cute blond Jeff from Miami who was cut a couple of weeks ago, although he was a bit dull. Or the angelic, boyish gay chef with a killer smile who was axed in the first episode. Ah well, such is life.

I'm so glad you wrote a column on Top Chef - I had been looking for someone's take on the most recent show as my daughter and I can't believe what's going on - we're "fed up" with it and we wanted to know what other people were saying. And we agree with most - Stefan will win but wouldn't it be great if it came down to Carla and him? It's ridiculous that Leah wasn't booted as much as I dislike Jamie's arrogance. Toby Young is worthless. I get the feeling that the producers are dictating the results of this show more than ever; Tom's opinions don't seem to matter anymore. And I guess they believe we are hoping that the Hosea/Leah "romance" reignites (I never sensed any chemistry there). Otherwise, I don't understand why Leah is still on. And the judges don't take into consideration past performances of the chefs - big mistake. They really need a retooling of the show.

that I'd written the first six paragraphs of this article. It seemed that Heather had bored into my innermost secret cache of feelings about much of the America that I see around me, if I dare open my eyes.

But from the seventh paragraph on, my eyes sorta glazed over and all I could focus on was Homer Simpson's voice saying: "Gnagghhhh, donuts. . . ."

But, hey. That's probably just me.