Ya gotta admit, that broccolini looked terrible! I love it when they bring out Bourdain, I know he's going to be entertainingly brutal.

Because those shows were about nothing.

But one of that Illuminati cadre that posts under the name "Anonymous" had it right. What is this crap about The Sopranos and The Wire being the top shows, ever, on television? There are plenty of other shows that deserve that honor. And no, I'm not going to start naming my favorites; that's egotistical and would start off a posting war here.

It's far better to talk about what makes a good TV show, instead of going around ranking and insulting each other. Develop a set of aesthetics and try to codify them so even idiots can understand why Caveman is going to tank quickly, and why it should have never been made.

Bourdain is one of the few bright spots in what has turned out to be a pretty dismal season. Tim Allen and Anthony are the only things worth watching. They need to go back to picking their own chefs instead of having them nominated by their peers. While some seem to enjoy having a group of "nice guys" (minus one), the cooking has been just plain boring when it wasn't stupid and I can't bring myself to care who wins.

Same can be said about the Emmy's.

Never understimate the American appeal of tits and pricks with tiny talent.

Heather,

Nice essay. I don't know, and am not likely to watch, any of the shows you mention, other than the Sopranos and The Wire (which is, of course, the best show ever on TV), but I laughed all the way through your piece. The first several paragraphs, in particular, are funny, insightful, painfully and poignantly true. Good job! Thanks!

Bryant

No matter how often 'Top Chef' bangs me over the head with labored advertisement integrations, no matter how severely the judges’ final decision disappoints me (Ilan and Marcel, completely different, equally insufferable), no matter how elusive the flavors, on which the show’s drama hangs, remain, my ardor endures. I love ‘Top Chef.’ The show’s pace, set each week by the quick-fire challenge, rarely slackens. I carry on completely engaged as the aspiring chefs navigate the entertaining but bizarrely un-real-world constraints of the elimination challenge as well as the ready behavioral traps of reality tv (close quarters, a winner-takes-all conclusion). My enthusiasm grows as the field of competitors narrows and vicarious victory approaches. If only Joey and Howie’s meeting of the scrota … I mean meeting of the minds, born from the embers of territorial antagonism, could have lasted a few more episodes.

Scream and fight while drunk about other drunks paying attention to drunks. I love MTV.

I'm enjoying Top Chef for the first time this season, because the contestants are "nicer". In the past, I didn't like any of the contestants, and I found the personality conflicts boring, so I stopped watching after a few episodes. (I guess I'm not the reality type - the only other reality show I watch is Amazing Race.)

I enjoyed Anthony Bourdain's commentary. As much as I liked CJ, that broccolini looked bad. However, I couldn't understand why the judges kept saying "I wouldn't have served a dish if it turned out like that". It's not as if the contestants had a choice - Howie got reamed before when he chose not to serve a dish when it didn't come out the way he wanted. Would CJ have been better off not serving anything as a side dish? I think the judges would have graded him even more harshly if he'd done that.

By the way, Anonymous, Heather's TV column is the lead every Sunday. Salon doesn't publish any news on Sunday, unless something really urgent happens, so the only new items are Heather's column and Opus.

No Reservations is the only thing I miss about dropping cable. A friend of a friend owns a restaurant that was on the show and went out drinking with Anthony Bourdain after the shoot, says the guy you see on screen is 100% authentic. Not at all surprising, but it's nice to hear after the stories about Rachael Ray..

if I could write “country-fried stink bomb”.

Heather, you are back in top form.

After you had your baby, I thought you were getting a little sentimental, a little syrupy. You got all "Mommy & Me" on us. You were too *easy* on those foul TV shows. No more. The snark is back. Grrr.

This is why I read Salon. No other TV critic cuts to the chase so quickly and so vividly. Keep it up, girl.

I don't have cable but I did catch Bourdain in Beirut while at a friend's house--a highly entertaining personality, without a doubt. Now that I know where *else* I can see him, I might just have to sign up.

P.S. to Dave Hayden--U of O Architecture program late 80s/early 90s?

A friend of a friend owns a restaurant that was on the show and went out drinking with Anthony Bourdain after the shoot, says the guy you see on screen is 100% authentic.

I thought CJ's comment as he was leaving was pretty telling, he said he wanted to go out and get loaded with Bourdain and talk shit about his broccolini. If even the guy on the receiving end of the nastiness thinks he's a hot ticket, then he's a hot ticket.

Also, I am a little bit in love CJ. That is all.

Certainly this week's Top Chef challenge was inspired, and for me it brought back memories of the real thing : first class food that is anything but. I'll never forget sitting beside Brazilian male supermodel Amaldo Barbosa Rezende, all 6 foot 4 1/2 of him, first row on the red-eye to Rio. My first trip, his umpteenth one. The lobster was indeed doll-headish, but he had brought a packed meal of fresh prairie squid. We shared.