I always thought the best reality TV show would be a cross between Fear Factor and Joe Millionaire. Two dozen women compete for a man, but instead of trying to seduce and impress him, they have to eat bugs and ride through flaming hoops and walk through a room full of snakes, etc. And at the end of the show, the winner finds out the man isn't really wealthy. He's just an average joe.

And he's already married. But he's planning to divorce his wife when the time is right, but not right now. It's very complicated, you see. They live in a house owned by his mother-in-law, and their daughter needs braces, so a divorce right now would just make a mess of everything and cause too many problems for everyone. But when all that's out of the way, he'll get a divorce first thing and marry the winner and they'll be happy together forever. Just not right now.

Reality TV is all about humiliation, you see.

I was in 'Hangover CSI' and I can think of a few people who could use some 'Real World Baghdad'. You crack me up!

The contestants get a leaky-roofed repo house in a rundown 'hood. Reward challenges might include "living through a trip to the grocery store" and similar.

Elimination challenges...well, just let 'em take a good walk - whoever comes back in one piece is still in.

Have a reality show made up of drunks and methheads and their temporary children contestants who fight and scratch for their drugged up parents attention and love. Each week some poor loser is beaten, burned or turned out.

...would make a helluva SUPERNANNY/NANNY 911 spinoff all by their lonesome...

I forget who said this quote, and I can't find it on search engines, but the person said something like "Some evils are untouchable by satire. They are so great and tragic that one can only shake one's head and walk away. Against lesser evils and all follies, satire is a powerful weapon."

The evil of reality shows - which drive me to curses and anger I hate to release - is too great for satire, such as this article. They simply appeal to the worst instincts of humanity, like a kind of social heroin that people can't shake off.

Do you really want to know? And if you did, would you remember tomorrow? And imagine the copycats...

The bigger farce when it comes to MTV is the network's own name. There is no longer anything "music" about Music Television.

then I would force people to watch it, at gunpoint.

Personally, I find the majority of television programming revolting, insipid, or just downright idiotic. Reality shows aren't real: They're partially scripted, low-buck, high-return drivel that only a moron can enjoy. The people on them are shallow, vacuous, self-important douche bags that I wouldn't give the time of day to.

Want a REAL Reality Show? Take all these contestants/assholes, (and the producers, too), and put them all in a real prison, with real prisoners, real guards, real razor wire, real danger,real lousy food, and see how they make out. Let's see how far they'd go to make a million. "Hmmmm, should I shank Ashley because she allied herself with Troy?"...That's a self-cleaning oven if I ever saw one. They'd all be dead in 2 weeks, and we'd be spared the further indignity of these crass exhibitions.

You act, (and write), like televison is high-quality stuff when it isn't. Quality TV takes a lot of time and money to produce. Junk TV is a cheap way to make a lot of money, and that is really all it is about these days. Feed 'em cheap garbage, rake it in, and to hell with the rest of you.

You're just as shallow and tawdry as the shows you write about. Get a real job.

Like the MTV show, but with the actual celebrities.

Here's next season's chart topper - "The Mzungu" It's got exotic locations in Africa, wealthy women, and strapping Maasai warriors - Wealthy older white women come to Kenya to seek young Maasai men, known for their height, strength, beauty, sexual prowess, and earnest sincerity... In this show, young Maasai compete for the chance to go home with a wealthy mzungu in a variety of contests such as athletic competition, fighting (non-lethal sparring, of course), hunting, high-class etiquette, and basic French, English and Italian - of course, with experts on hand to coach the young moran in the arts of European culture.

http://www.reuters.com/article/inDepthNews/idUSL444960320080905

I'm holding out for Survivor: The Moon.

I'd watch it. There is an abundance of deeply weird and highly creative people lurking in the woodwork of this nation of ours (the next MakerFaire is in Austin in October, if anyone wants to go!)

Anything that promotes creative thought and tinkering should be encouraged.

(Also on the doggie step-stool, I'd buy one if my cat ever got so arthritic she couldn't jump up on the bed. Actually, I'd probably just make one out of clever furniture arrangements. Its hard to see the little beasties struggle as they get older, so we do what we can to make them comfortable and happy.)

They could use Jonathan Coulton's song as the theme to "I'm From SkyMall" :

http://www.jonathancoulton.com/2006/07/07/thing-a-week-40-skymall/

Re: "The Real World Baghdad": "Instead of sending a gaggle of whiny, sexually craven narcissists to some hip, urban location, why not send a bunch of whiny, sexually craven narcissists to war?" Well, that might be taking it a little too far, but in fact, MTV has a new show called "Exiled" that sends the spoiled, affluent teenagers from "My Super Sweet 16" to places like Kenya and the Andes. A recent New York Times article talked about one of the girls' "profound unhappiness when she had to walk several hours for water and help make a hut from a messy paste of cow dung."

great movie, great satire, let's bring it back as a real TV show...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093894/