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The central anxiety of post-second wave feminism has long been recognized, in these pages and elsewhere, as being based in the paradox of this radically new idea of girl power in a society which is still very conservative in how it evaluates marital success.
Put very simply, a man can still marry a woman whose achievements in public life are less than his, and need never worry about what anyone will think of him. But for a woman to marry a man who "takes the back seat" in terms of status is a discredit to her, still in this day and age, and will get her no end of criticism.
And yet isn't that the inevitable outcome of girl power? That some of the girls will be more powerful than all the boys? That they will marry men whom they don't adore with that submissive thrill of belonging to a real ubermensch? Men and women of my generation still have a very hard time with this, and as more and more of them realize that this is it, this is how we're just all going to be ... voila, along comes TV to provide some drama therapy.
But there are some other things to consider here as well. For one thing, the kids are all right. Young guys out of college are increasingly ditching professional service economy career tracks for child-raising, garage rock with their buds, and mountain-man beards (what is up with that?), while their honeys are bringing in the bread in total acceptance.
For another thing, these shows are never (really, even when they pretend) about working class America -- or about nonwhite America, for that matter. Men bitching about how their old ladies keep all their money isn't wacky world-upside-down hijinks in the blue collar bars and bowling alleys of middle America -- it's an old story, maybe even a comfortable one.
And try talking to a black American woman about how crazy it would be if women really did start doing all the work, like in those TV shows, while the men sat around trying to get it together, har har har. Har.
So, rich white people of America, get over yourselves, for crying out loud. You're smart, creative, empowered -- if you of all people can't find some way for this new and exciting partnership to mean less stress and self-absorption for everyone involved, then you deserve to marinade in every bit of anxiety Rebecca Traister has to preview for you.
