But seriously, Bay is the evil offspring of Simpson and Bruckheimer. Among the three of them, they've shat out more crap than can be buried in all the planet's landfills.

No, but I'd prefer if you'd do more with the summer's major movie release than just quickly pee on it. If the first Transformers had uninspired action sequences, people would not have liked the film. (One thing the bulk of X-box humanity has got down, is when there is and when there isn't LIFE, in action sequences.) I liked that the action felt sort of unstaged, adhoc, unpredictable. I felt there was was both aggression and genius in it, and preferred it to the pin-point, neat dancing you get in X-Men, or the right angles and geometry, you get in Dark Knight. That you get "pussy" and "bitch," seems only appropriate for a movie uninterested in being quite so noble.

Now there's a movie I'd like to see.

...I read of the first Transformers abortion was "Watching this movie is like being shouted at by a half-wit for two and a half hours." This time, it sounds like the half-wit got a megaphone.

Megan Fox is crazy hot, though.

...when movies won't involve Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich destroying landmarks. (Look up the trailer for Emmerich's 2012.)

And I don't see what the fuss is over Megan Fox. Whenever I see her, I feel like she's covered in doughnut glaze.

Hire an editor, man.

Midnight showing in about an hour. This one has Soundwave! And Devastator! I'm still pissed at Bay for labeling the tank as "Devastator" in the first one. That was Brawl, damn it! He kicked ass, but he wasn't Devastator. And we get to find out what happened to Barricade!

Seriously though, if SOundwave is really cool in this one, I'm going to have to see the movie a few more times this week.

If ya'll havnt' seen the first one, here's a pretty good review/recap:

http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/52-transformers-the-movie-review

No offense Stephanie, but it seems that the movies you dis are always great action movies that I love. I was not sure that I would like it but since you don't I know that I will. The Dark Knight anyone?

1. Boys love cars, I mean really love them. If you have a find a boy who doesn't love cars, there is something wrong with him.

2. Boys love their fathers. The Autobots are protectors and wise, paternal types (with a bit of the family dog thrown in).

3. The sound they make when they transform is without a doubt the very coolest sound effect ever.

End of story.

As all the japanese scifi movies of the 60's with Godzilla, etc. with the guys in rubber suits and the miniature city sets ...

But only because it's a near-complete rip-off of "Logans Run."

and I actually liked Transformers a child, but I still shudder at how awful Bay's first Transformers movie was.

Please be smart and somehow manoeuvre Andrew O'Hehir into seeing G.I. Joe (which will be even worse than this movie and which O'Hehir richly deserves after his pissy, ill-informned anti-atheist rant a month or two back).

And I don't see what the fuss is over Megan Fox. Whenever I see her, I feel like she's covered in doughnut glaze.

Okay. Megan Fox. Covered in doughnut glaze. I think that concept in itself could give 95% of male human beings a big raging erection for Michael Bay's film.

Perhaps it was that I was having a particularly braindead day, but I quite enjoyed The Island when I saw it. Yes, it was derivative, yes, it was dumb, and yes, it was packed with inappropriate product placement (which I read as highly ironic at the time) - but it had a certain brainless, breathless glee that made it a good enough ride of a movie for me at the time.

What do you do in your spare time, go eat fast food, and complain about the quality of the ingredients? This film is eye/ear candy for men between the ages of 15-40, and as such, it does exactly what it's supposed to do. With respect, if you want acting, mood, substance, etc... go see that type of film. if you can't be objective, don't review films that aren't meant for you. There's art, and there's eye-candy... let them both do what they're supposed to, and next time you go to the movies, try just to have a good time.

There's a difference, though, between a great hamburger and one that's been waiting to be bought for an hour at the run-down local fastfood joint. Compare something like Raiders of the Lost Ark - pretty much the epitome of perfectly crafted popcorn cinema - to Bay's films. As I said, I enjoyed The Island, but there's no comparison between it (at best a sloppily made burger with questionable meat, but it's cheap and kind of tasty) and a film like Raiders (good god, that's a great burger!). And saying that "It's just a popcorn flick!" and not caring about the craft means that in the long run we'll get more Transformers and fewer Raiders. Even with a burger you're justified in caring about the quality.

I shall go see a Michael Bay movie.

I would like to see what he does with "Ruff & Reddy" - I bet that scooter will be LOUD!

take your pick of the 109 critics (and counting) at Rotten Tomatoes. TRotF has a 22% fresh rating. The one positive review on the first page says "When it's good it's good, but when it's bad, it's shockingly, horrifyingly bad."

Thank the lord that chick is hot. She is possibly the dumbest person in Hollywood. Look in her eyes, you see daylight.

There are two new robot characters in this edition. The Twins. And the buzz is that they're THE MOST RACIST OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPE CHARACTERS in modern movie history. More than JarJar Binks.

The first Transformers movie was for porn-addled 13-year-old boys.

Now they have turned 15, big deal.