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• Wednesday, November 21, 2007 03:13 PM

  To all who wrote to me...

  I enjoyed your notes--no, really, I did! Taliesin, I have NO problem with folks working for a living---but JUDAS PRIEST!!! Is Mr. Zimmerman so hard-up he's got to make asinine undie commercials? Sell his "times are a-changin," apparently his huge youth-anthem, to an effing BANK? This phony liar is the fellow considered some kind of legend?

  "I am an orphan from New Mexico who travelled with the carnival." In other words, fuck you, mom, dad, Minnesota, anyone who gave a damn about me when I was a sourpuss kid.

  Apparently he got upset if people brought up his Jewish heritage. Why? Cuz he was a converted Christian? (Or was THAT just a passing dilettante fancy? He sure didn't act very Christian, even to his fans, whose heads he had a tendency to bite off when they told him how much they..well, LIKED him! Well, okay, he was nice to the Pope.)

  And hey! What's wrong with Ronco? At least Boxcar Willie didn't make g-string ads; he hung around in boxcars doing...well, hobo things (correct me if I'm wrong, though. And I guess the Victria's Secret folks wouldn't have even been interested in Boxcar Willie or Roger Whittaker, or even the heartwarming magic of Jim Nabors. But sheesh, any of them would have been an improvement on Romero-movie-extra-looking creepy Bob!)

  This guy is some kind of legend??

  Go into the Bank of Montreal! Pull the panties over your head and SMELL THE BOB!

  Whew! What an excoriation! Just don't get me started on Wilford Brimley...

  —Sally the Werewolf Read Sally the Werewolf's other letters
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