the writing was so clunky. And I used to read Scott Turow. But I'm a sucker for heavily-ornamented crackpot conspiracy theories, so I'm hoping the movie will dole out the Easter Eggs with a minimum of camp. Guess not, eh? Ah well. It'll still be better than Snakes on a Plane.

Is that Stephanie Z was old enough to see the Exorcist in 1973????? Wow...I have always pictured her as a younger woman, or at least my age (I was born that year and barely remember Star Wars in the theater). In my daydreams about going to see Mulholland Dr. and Donnie Darko at some small indie theater in Soho, and then going to the park, I pictured her more my age. Bummer!

Salon would beg off reviewing it, just like they refused to print the Danish Mohammed cartoons.

What is everybody getting excited about? Have we forgotten what "fiction" means?

There is no evidence Mary Magdeline ever lived, just as there is no evidence that the Jesus portrayed in The Bible ever lived. There was not a single teacher wandering around Palestine towards the end of Augustuis' reign in Rome, there were masses of them. The one we are most likely to mean when we refer to Jesus was called Johannes.

The religions of the world need to be reminded that just because somebody believes something that does not make it true.

I believe in both King Arthur and Robin Hood but I know for certain neither were real historical characters, in fact they are both variations of the Jesus myth, the spirit of the people, the spirit of the land, the spirit of humanity.

Is a common bond that binds us in our imperfect humanity not magical enough? Do people have to delude themselves that these fairy stories are literal truth?

My view is that everyone should grow up and remember The Da Vinci code is entertainment. Mediocre entertainment too, if the reviews are anything to go by.

The inspiration for using Opus Dei as the grand conspiracy organization come from the story of Robert Hannsen. The story is mentioned in the book. If the Church doesn't like fiction, perhaps they could study the true story of Hannsen. In terms of grand conspiracy theories, no one is going to out do Hannsen any time soon. The Church was influential enough to keep Hannsens pension intact though even though he is regarded as one of the greatest traitors in American history. Keeping his kids in Catholic School is the important thing though.

...but the book really was engaging and entertaining if you could somehow get past the butchery of the language the author commits. (The Hanks character is introduced as a Harvard "Professor of Symbology." Salon readers don't have to be told, ain't no such animal. Brown was apparently trying to say "semiotics," which at least has the virtue of being an actual discipline -- though not a department at Harvard.)

If SZ is right about the movie's being "disappointingly tame," that's unfortunatae -- it could've and should've been a ton o fun, and a good reminder of the patriarchal underpinnings of Pauline Christianity, at the very least.

I wonder if the Tautou character at least still gets to drive a Smart Car -- or whether Audior BMW or some such got their product placment into this one?

Never got that, never will. you want to see Danish cartoons, guess what? You're on the Internet -- Google, dumbass.

Read the first couple of pages of "The Da Vinci Code" at a bookstore. I like trashy novels as much as the next guy and I couldn't read another word, it was so badly written. But I'm seeing the movie ASAP because 1) the cast is great, 2) it'll be fun to watch talented actors struggle with some truly awful material and 3) seeing it will annoy all the right people.

Please update us with all the latest details. Did you get your popcorn with extra butter? Was the seat comfortable? All the right people want to know.

What a hilarious review. "The Da Vinci Code... is a flying meringue pie headed straight for the church's kisser." Indeed.

The only thing I disagree with - I don't think Dan Brown's imagination is all that vivid or active. "Creatively bankrupt" is more like it.

I have to get to the library, fast!

Stephanie Zacharek has not mentioned what must certainly be the biggest failing of the movie. The heroine does not wear the "cream colored knee legth sweater over black leggings" that she wore in the book. I just hope "the steaming mug of coffee" makes its appearance at the end.

If you're going to make a movie based on a mind-numbingly terrible book, at least get it right!

This is one cradle Catholic who has her ticket for an early afternoon show tomorrow. Word on the street at my teens' Catholic high school is that I may see familiar faces protesting outside the theater. Can they spell f-i-c-t-i-o-n?

Women in Mary Magdalene's profession are very knowledgable of birth control techniques, which is obviously why she is never mentioned as having children with Jesus Christ or anyone else in the Bible.

I'm with Dave, and the others here who pointed out what no-one in the MSM seems willing to point out:

"The Da Vince Code" is easily among the most badly written successful books of all time. I read as much of it as I could stand, which wasn't much, and gave up in utter disgust. Yet again, I'm in the wrong business. Here's Dan Brown, who clearly couldn't write his way out of a wet paper bag if his life depended on it, and he's making millions on a book that's so badly written, if a college sophomore handed it in as a term-project, they'd get an F.

As for the movie, if the trailers are the best footage in it, then it's even more boring than Stephanie Z. says it is.

All of which goes to show that Barnum's dictum is as true as it ever was: no-one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American Public. "The Da Vinci Code" proves this beyond any doubt.

And, as I think about it, a little over 50 million members of that public voted for George Bush in 2004, an act that could result only from a stupidity so monumental that a book like the Da Vinci Code is High Art for said members of the Public.

Phooey.