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Wednesday, December 21, 2005 12:00 AM

Pride and pathetic

It's heartwarming! It's romantic! Poor Jane Austen must be rolling in her grave over the new film of her great novel.
By Gina Fattore

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  • Tuesday, December 20, 2005 11:17 PM

    This sucks-- get me rewrite!

    I think the next Jane Austen novel to be filmed should have Bruce Willis in it. And lots of explosions. And Jane Austen should be in it, bugging him about how he should do this or do that, and it should really get on his nerves.

    Jane: Cut the blue wire.

    Bruce: Lady, will you leave me alone!

    And at the very end he'll notice that only he could see her, and wonder what it means.

    —Jonathan Versen Read Jonathan Versen's other letters

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