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Thursday, July 9, 2009 12:00 AM

The dong show: Top 10 moments in male full-frontal

Ewan McGregor! Jason Segel! Vincent Gallo! The men who dared to put the penis in pop culture

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Wednesday, July 8, 2009 05:42 PM

Graham Chapman

How could you forget about the Life of Brian? And that was in 1979 fer god's sake, when that kind of thing Just Wasn't Done!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 05:47 PM

censored?

Why is the video version of this article censored? Isn't this the internet? Isn't this 2009?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 05:53 PM

Cocks are the holy grail of the evil children must never see

You'd probably see a lot more cocks in film if obscenity laws weren't so ambiguous. Cocks in popular media can attract a quick roasting in the pits of justice if something goes awry.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 05:59 PM

'E's not the Messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy...

Yes, Graham Chapman was out there in his full glory in Life of Brian. But so were Julian Sands, Rupert Graves, and Simon Callow frolicking in the pond scene in A Room with a View. And let's not forget the nude wrestling match between Alan Bates and Oliver Reed in Women in Love (censored shots linked below).

Personally, though, I'm with Elaine Benes: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 06:09 PM

No Jeremy Irons?

Watching Jeremy Irons' dong bop bop bop as he raced down the stairs at the climax (no pun intended) of Damage is all I remember from that film.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 06:23 PM

Didn't Bruce show his Willis in something?

I have some vague memory of him saying "If Demi can do it..."

(I invented and would like to popularize the above convention: Harvey's Keitel, Bruce's Willis, Jeremy's Irons... it ALWAYS works!)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 06:27 PM

let's not forget

Tim's Robbins as he emerged from a spa bath in Altman's "The Player."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 06:48 PM

Must include

What a great list, and these additions are all 'must includes'. Should have been the top fifteen of all time.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a beautiful film.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 06:49 PM

Where is Richard Gere!?!

I can't believe anyone would do a top 10 full male frontal moments in film list and fail to include "American Gigolo"!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 06:53 PM

Hmm, well....

Is the writer trying to be ironic by stating that men tend to be squeamish seeing other men's bodies (a factoid not borne out by mainstream pornography) but then writing about it with "eeewww, icky!" sentiment. "Blue super junk?" Isn't this just perpetuating the concept of male nudity being, well, icky?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:04 PM

Belly of an Architect

Another Peter Greenaway film, wasn't there at least one delicious full frontal in "The Belly of an Architect"?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:25 PM

"it probably has something to do with men's discomfort seeing other men's bodies on a movie screen"

I wonder if it also has to do with the simple fact that for the most part, on average most men don't live up to the hype. How many hollywood actors would make the big time (ha ha) if in addition to all their charisma they also had to have big dicks? Most male hollywood stars are portrayed and hyped as being larger than life men. Manly men, men's men, etc... But if someone like, oh say, Brad Pitt, had a quarter-inch-killer, by our societies standards would, I bet, kill his career, if top men were expected to show their dicks as much as top women are expected to show their breasts or asses.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:29 PM

Down with your banner ads!

Your "Concert Club" ads are the most audibly obnoxious ads I've ever encountered on the web. If I come back on this site one more time, and get blasted out of my fucking chair on behalf of your commerce, it will be the last time I use your site.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:34 PM

full frontal?

how could you forget the Teletubbies!?!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:40 PM

What about almost all porn?

Or are YOU too squeamish?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:42 PM

What about Sideways?

I know it was a Super Deep movie, but pretty much all I remember about it is the naked old guy running toward the Saab as what's-his-name peeled away from the house with his friend's wallet...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 07:47 PM

*who* is uncomfortable about full frontal?

You make a very good point - there is a blatant double standard when it comes to nudity and it no doubt is because guys get uncomfortable seeing male genitals exposed (hmm... maybe women feel that way about female full frontal...) but I agree with Monkey Pants: why did YOU (the authors) feel the need to censor your video clips, especially when you already give an "NSFW" warning?

Are our male egos really that fragile? Get over it.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:37 PM

What about erect penises ? (penii?)

I don't think I have ever seen a fully erect penis in even an art house movie, let alone a main stream one.

And therein lies a lot of the issues I suspect. Fully erect penises are an unambiguous in-your-face sign of sexual arousal and desire - that just won't do. Flaccid penises just look silly :) and don't particularly appeal to men or women, except as an object of humour. So you're unlikely to see a penis unless its for comedic effect.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:40 PM

A couple more...

How about Sarsgaard's peter in "Kinsey," or William Hurt's memorable silhouette in "Broadcast News"?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:43 PM

trudy:

Bruce's Willis supposedly appeared in the crappy erotic thriller (which is the just best name for a genre ever) "The Color of Night." I've only seen it on cable, and not all of it, so I don't know for a fact if this is true or not. "Sideways" has probably the most hilarious use of penis ever, although I did like "Forgetting Sarah Marshall."

Isn't there some quality (and highly disturbing) Dafoe in the new "Antichrist?"

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:44 PM

Let's face it

The only men who have trouble with seeing other men in the altogether are the Conservative family values types: Larry Craig, Ted Haggard, etc. who seem to be afraid they won't be able to hide their arousal if such things are allowed to be publicly seen in movie theaters across the nation.

And of course conservative women of the Phyllis Schlafly, Ann Coulter, type who seem to find the very idea that men have genitals to be repulsive and don't want to be reminded that, except for the reality that tab "a" fits into slot "a" none of them would be here. "Once before each child" (and no more) and all that. No wonder so many "conservative" men have to have girlfriends or boyfriends on the side.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:46 PM

hmm...

So am I the only one that thinks Harvey Keitel is kinda hot?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:59 PM

@gaimangirl

Can't really go along with you on Keitel, but that's OK... we're in full agreement on Neil Gaiman.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 08:59 PM

The issue

You don't see it, as mentioned, not because men are squeamish about seeing other dicks, it's because the dick cannot be evaluated as a symbol of manhood or virility or desirability or whatever when it is flaccid. (If you were a male star wouldn't you want to put your best foot forward, so to speak?) And a penis in a state of arousal will never get a rating suitable for general release. Women's parts, on the contrary, need not be aroused to be appreciated fully.

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