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Re: Your self-satisfied/highly innacurate headline: "Lindsay Lohan, perennial party girl, serial dater, occasional actress"--reality would seem to contradict your glibness if you take a look at a partial filmmography:
I Know Who Killed Me
Georgia Rule
Chapter 27
Bobby
Just My Luck
A Prairie Home Companion
Herbie Fully Loaded
Mean Girls
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Freaky Friday
Then there's three CDs I'm aware of, the last of which is a very credible teenpop/rock effort. And the imdb lists about 5 films in-progress.
When did Salon become a priggish--did the author spend his late teens at a Buddhist retreat studying Spinoza?-- less-informed US?